That’s a large milk and honey for Wadelhelpia. Top it up with your best brandy, please barman cutie. Ta.
In Tincan Banana, conspiracy theorists allege Kaddish's new subway map resembles Satanic symbols.
In Pencil Sharpeners, oil rigs in winter are heated by contained oil slick fires.
In Quesan, ten-year-olds regularly found their own political parties.
Europa League Final. Good grief, I’m going to have to cheer for Rangers, enemy of enemies, because they’re from Scotland.
Frankfurt win after extra time on penalties.
In Big epic nation, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets.
In Valenceria, one-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man.
In Massimolandia, urban entrepreneurs are busy introducing cockroaches into restaurant kitchens.
*belting from the balcony*
"Don't cry for me, Argentina
The truth is, I never left you"
BOO! I got distracted on job and graduate school drama for a few months, and I've been stripped of my rankings, flags, banners, and CITIZENSHIP WITHIN NUDIST DREAMLAND by the server! Quelle dommage! That'll teach me.
Hope everybody is well, and thank you for attending my funeral. Hola to Joe, Friends of Dorothy, Yannia, Lady Laura, Wadelhelpia, Pencil Sharpeners, and Discoveria. Big bro Yannia, thank you for carrying on our regional metrics strength in the likely event I never get them back!
World Assembly Endorsements: Wadelhelpia is our Delegate and has been so for two years and three months.
There’s a bright dawn ahead for Nelvana III.
In Valenceria, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal.
Day of the week, umm … Friday. Qu’est-ce qui se passe tous les vendredis? Rufus tinkles the ivories in the upstairs theatre, then Parrot belts out Céline Dion numbers en français s’il vous plaît. After the fireworks at Yannsborg Citadel light up the sky, everyone ambles over to the Dunes for some wild dancing. Sound good? Be there or be square. xx
In Rainbow Beach, captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship.
In PoorChoices, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed.
Friends of Dorothy’s national animal is the male, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.
In Ever Always, animal liberationists receive government funding to break into animal research labs.
In Pabloh, dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive.
In Barely True, there's an aura of pseudoscience around academia.
In Wailing Grannies, funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience.
In Carefree Island, father-son fishing trips have been banned.
In Indecision, there's no such thing as a safe bet.
Suppose I should say something, otherwise it’s just Joe Joe Joe for days on end.
Anyway, I know from a family Zoom that in English-speaking Canada today is Victoria Day and in French-speaking Canada it’s La journée des patriotes. The first is in favour of Queen Victoria, the other celebrates a rebellion against Queen Victoria. Either way it’s a holiday.
Canadians, Happy Victoria Day. Canadiens, bonne Journée des Patriotes.
That’s a large milk and honey, please barman cutie, for everyone in the joint.
I like the disparity in reasons to celebrate. I'm all about that spiteful celebration stuff.
In Windows of the Skull, the lowest age at which one can marry has been recently lowered to 12.
In Pabloh, cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors.
In Drunken Taxicabs, prudishness is on the way out.
Tuesday is Trivia Showdown Night at Tommy’s Bar
Here is your bonus question for a milk and honey, absolutely free ..
Who came back from the dead the other day?
a) Jesús from the car crash in Oviedo
b) Margaret Thatcher
c) Nelvana III
Whisper your answer in Sal’s ear. The answer is bound to be in the Book by now.
Get to Tommy’s NOW !!! There are only a few barstools left.
public service announcement
The correct answer is b), Margaret Thatcher. If it isn´t in the Book of Answers it ought to be.
(Please, Baroness Thatcher. Come back and bring some of the good old 1980s prosperity with you !)
How´s every one doing ?
I found this nice little quote by one of Ancient Rome´s most famous men, Cicero. He said. “Nemo enim fere saltat sobrius, nisi forte insanit.” No man would dance while sober, unless he is insane. I agree wholeheartedly.
I don´t feel like dancing anyway, despite my NS name. Going through a rough patch.
I´m in a dark, misanthropic mood, actually. I drew a short bande dessinée titled Dancing On Your Grave. It´s about a small boy in a wheelchair. He´s got no friends. The other children reject him and make fun of him.
One day he saw storm clouds gathering. And it rained. It rained Magnum .45 revolver handguns. And they started growing on a tree.
As the boy grew up he got better, stronger. Strong enough to stand on his own feet and pick a revolver from the revolver tree.
The boy and the handgun became good friends. One day the revolver smiled at the boy and told him
"What the other kids did to you was unfair and cruel. I can empower you to...you know..."
You can figure out the rest.
Dark as it is, someone actually liked it and there´s a good chance it´ll get published.
I think it's c), Nelvana III only because I've often look like I've been raised out of a pool of briny solution, only to realize it's Ramone, my hairdresser, trying to slap me awake after consuming too many edibles, waiting for the perm solution to curl my ever-so-hard-to-style mop of hair.
Whilst trying to rinse the solution out of my now burned hair, Ramone tries to kick away a copy of my Attitude and DNA magazines, so he may read them himself later. I haven't read them yet, especially the article about Mark Phelps announcing his engagement to NBA Star, Blake Griffin, who, inicidentally, was seceretly dating Stephen Curry, don'tcha know!
That’s an extra large milk and honey for Transexy, barman cutie por favor, filled to the top with your best champagne.
Thank you for news of famous gay hook-ups.
Dancing Dragons, dearest, Margaret Thatcher is one of my least favourite dead people, and it’s no to revolver trees, even for small boys in wheelchairs. Can’t he just zap them with bolts of lightning or turn them into silly lapdogs with a twitch of his nose?
You must be going through a rough patch if you don’t feel like dancing. Sorry to hear that. You are our favourite dragon, dancing or no.
Public Education: First: Yannia top 0.04% (84th in world). Second: Nelvana III top 0.04%. Third: The Nude Beach top 0.07% … Middle: Test Icicle top 17% … Last: Pencil Sharpeners bottom 0% (20th from bottom)
In Barman, public urination is on the increase.
In Transexy, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords.
In Iantopiia, a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal.
In Loveboys, all guns must be registered.
In Hulhumale, a valid legal defence is 'dead men tell no tales'.
In The Nude Beach, people talk about things being better when men were men.