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«12. . .850851852853854855856. . .1,0131,014»

Friends of Dorothy wrote:Mind you, someone has to clean the loos and greet the guests at Tommy’s so I have to work on Zeds Day, but it’s in a good cause.

It's not fair you doing all that by yourself. Let's split the chores equally, shall we ?
*hands over cleaning implements.
*nods approvingly, as Friends of Dorothy is doing such a terrific job*
*goes greet the guests*

Jimmy the janitor walks in, sees someone cleaning a toilet, and says, "Yo, mån! År ya tryin'a steal ma job? Okey, A kno A'm late, but A håd to please the missus afore A went, ya kno, wit it bein' inanåsional luv dey ån' ol?"

You are so right, Jimmy. I almost forgot it was International Love Day. That’s because my partner and I have been together a long time and take each other for granted. Not true, but we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day by mutual agreement. I’m not stealing your job. In a bar there’s always room for two cleaners. Cheers, pal.

Jimmy's got his missus, Friends of Dorothy has his partner.
Some guys have all the luck. I'm married to the job.

Good to have Jimmy the janitor around. Someone with the proper cleaning expertise. Last time I went to the broom cupboard to fetch a mop, the "mop" meowed.

Poll Result • Which superpower would you like to have?

6 votes: Time Travel

5 votes: Invisibility
4 votes: Immortality, Super Healing Ability, Teleporting, "Other"
3 votes: Flying
1 vote: Telepathy

Interesting. In my humble opinion, two of the most voted superpowers, invisibility and immortality, deal with a negation and/or loss of the sense of Self.
The Invisible person, in a way, ceases to exist to the eyes of the world. Seeing is believing ; he or she therefore steps out of the realm of real.
The Immortal person on the other hand, defies and overcomes the only quality that truly binds all creatures. I recall the short story by Jorge Luis Borges, The Immortal. The main character is lying down. Feels thirsty. Because he can't die of thirst, it takes seventy years - many people don't live that long - before he makes up his mind and gets up to have a drink of water.
Losing the sense of time as everybody else knows it, the consciousness of one's infiniteness, would lead to infinite loneliness. And to madness. Immortality is for Gods - not for Men.

Intelligence: First: Nelvana iii top 0.05%. Second: Yannia top 0.05%. Third: The Nude Beach top 0.4% … Middle: Khryzia top 8% … Last: Pencil Sharpeners bottom 0% (52nd from bottom in world)

In Nudist Dreamland, cash-strapped politicians frequently host bake sales to fund their campaigns.

In Gayeers, children are terrified that the 'flying police monster' will come to take them away in the night.

In The kricathlyskonder, traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways.

Yannia, Dancing Dragons, and Pabloh

G'day, Dreamlanders

I wonder what nail-biting Tuesday Trivia Quiz question will Friends of Dorothy be challenging us with today.

Also on Feb. 15th :

.World Hippo Day. If you own a hippopotamus, give your pet a special treat. Better still, show the world what a proud hippo-owner you are and take it to work with you.

.Singles Awareness Day. Appropriately after Valentine's. So if you're single and happy with it, give yourself a treat and celebrate.

Tuesday is Trivia Showdown Night at Tommy’s Bar

Here is your bonus question for a free milk and honey.

Janitor is the North American word for ..

a) rent boy

b) lorry driver

c) caretaker

Whisper your answer to Busty Sal. She’ll know this one without looking in the Book.

public service announcement

Jimmy the Janitor is not a rent boy. He has a missus. If Jimmy were a lorry driver he wouldn’t be working at Tommy’s. Therefore he is the caretaker. I claim my milk & honey.

That’s a large milk and honey for Rainbow, please Sal, filled to the brim with your best brandy. Fantabulosa !!!

Any chance one could find an unauthorised copy of the Book of Answers in the black market ? I see no other way of stopping Rainbow Beach's winning streak.

Freedom from Taxation: First: Grave raven top 0.08%. Second: The Choir Boy top 0.09%. Third: Pencil Sharpeners top 0.3% … Middle: Gay Catholic bottom 11% … Last: Nelvana iii bottom 0%

In Twink Ahoy, Internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens.

In Icarianna, video of President Antonelli wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news.

In Hydrogen Jukebox, flash floods that dams could have controlled regularly ravage small towns in mountain valleys.

I have an afternoon free and am listening to music. I played Electric Light Orchestra, then followed up with Montreal music from the same period, oh dear I am so homesick even though I haven’t lived there for a long time. The tears are flowing.

Je reviendrai à Montréal
Dans un grand Bœing bleu de mer
J'ai besoin de revoir l'hiver
Et ses aurores boréales
(Robert Charlebois)

Rufus Wainwright sings this, Robert Charlebois of course, and Céline Dion, and Ginette Reno … It’s a very old song, but emotional to me. Mind you I cry every time I see Billy Connolly on the telly, too, but I’m not proper Scottish really - you can’t be two things says my partner. (What does he know?)

Anyway, Wednesday’s child should give up this silly nostalgia and get down to Tommy’s and greet some customers.

L'enfant du lundi est beau comme un dieu,
L'enfant du mardi est tout gracieux,
L'enfant du mercredi a du chagrin,
L'enfant du jeudi doit faire long chemin,
L'enfant du vendredi a l'âme pure,
L'enfant du samedi travaille bien dur,
Mais l'enfant du dimanche, comme tout le monde sait,
Est gentil et joyeux et bon et gai.

Don't call it silly nostalgia, luv. Nostalgia is a part of life. Must be tough having your heart in two places an ocean apart like that, true. But doesn't it also mean twice the love ?

Never crossed the lake myself. But a piece of my heart is buried in a place called Lexington, in the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

“On Wednesday, when the sky is blue, and I have nothing else to do, I sometimes wonder if it’s true That who is what and what is who.” – Winnie-the-Pooh

"The careers advisory service also sent me to BP for an unpleasant and unsuccessful interview, where I was criticized for wearing a sports jacket and brown shoes. 'No gentleman wears brown shoes in London', I was told. This remark was uttered just as the Beatles, Carnaby Street and the Swinging Sixties were tolling the knell of the traditional English gentleman, so beloved by Hungarian immigrés and the French."
in
DC Confidential - The Controversial Memoirs of Britain's Ambassador to the US at the Time of 9/11 and the Run-up to the Iraq War, Ch.1.
by Christopher Meyer

A book I borrowed from the library today.

Income Equality: First: Tubercular Sky top 0.3%. Second: Loveboys top 2%. Third: Teahead Joyride top 2% … Middle: Machinery of Night top 14% … Last: The Choir Boy bottom 0% (31st from bottom in the world)

In Pabloh, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches.

In Drunken Taxicabs, councils up and down the country wrangle over legal matters.

In Sharx, psychiatrists that date patients are congratulated on their romantic conquests.

Wadelhelpia and Pabloh

Thursday child punching in. Je doit faire long chemin. Been doing that all my life. The way is long and winding, filled with unexpected roadblocks and potholes of unknown depth. A path where more than once I've been a king for a day and a fool for a lifetime. Taking two steps back for each step forward. Back to square one, picking up the pieces of what I have lost, growling low like a wounded animal.
Back to the drawing board. Again. But try to stop me this time. No one will. I won't be brooding about roads not taken anymore. I have the will and the power to carry on through thick and thin. Fortune favours the bold.

Dancing Dragons, that’s the spirit, my darling.

Public service announcement

Important reminder .. Thursday is Ladies’ Night, Lads’ Night, Gay Night and Cat’s Drink Fee at Tommy’s Bar.

Advertisement

Are you a tourist? Tommy’s is the first turning off Gay Parrot Flypast, just before the Dunes. The wild dancing and fireworks aren’t till tomorrow night and we haven’t had one of our famous funerals in yonks, but pop in for a liver transplant at Tommy’s University Hospital or meet the world famous Pope Frankie chatting with punters in the downstairs bar.

Shark Harbour Tourist Board

Friiidaaayyy !!!

Give the order of our Friday events and win a milk and honey absolutely free ..

a) Fireworks at Yannsborg Citadel

b) Wild dancing on the dunes

c) Breakfast milk and honey *

d) Parrot sings Céline Dion

e) Rufus tinkles the ivories in the upstairs theatre

* If you spill your milk and honey, Jimmy the Janitor will mop it up and Busty Sal will pour you a new one.

Happy Friday on behalf of Tommy’s Bar (registered in Bogotá).

Patriotism: First: Nelvana iii top 2%. Second: Big epic nation top 5%. Third: This Is The Worst top 10% … Middle: Sunny Glade bottom 8% … Last: Pencil Sharpeners bottom 0% (4th from bottom in world)

In Iantopiia, the latest superhero movie features a caped Narwhal with adamantium claws.

In Barman, the government prefers to kill off its enemies by peaceful means.

In Massimolandia, sales of trenchcoats are on the rise.

Now there’s a Friday quiz! Obviously I know the answer, of course I do, but if I reply I’ll be blamed for hogging the milk and happy. Yes, oh yes, it’s happened before.

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