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by The RMB Spammers Will Be Ejected of Kissinger-Monroe. . 525 reads.

The Weekend Poetry Contest of the Bar: Weeks 1–30

B I B O · E R G O · S U M

❧☙
The Weekend
Poetry Contest
of

The Bar on the Corner of Every Region

.
.
About the Contest
What is the contest?

The Poetry Contest is an event that takes place on the Bar's RMB every weekend. It begins at 12:01 AM on Saturday and ends at 12:01 PM on Monday (Eastern Standard Time / UTC-5). During the event, all nations are welcome to post their original poetry on the Bar's RMB. There is no limit to the number of entries one may submit. At the end of the event, a judge will read all the poetry posted within the contest time frame and decide which is the best.

How does the judging work?

The judge's job is simply to read through all the poetry (only poetry written in accordance with the week's poetry form will be considered valid entries) posted within the contest time frame and determine which of them is the best, with the meaning of "the best" being based wholly on the judge's subjective opinion. Upon choosing a winner, the judge will post the result of the contest on the RMB. Obviously, the judge is not allowed to be corrupt: the winning poetry cannot be authored by the judge and the winning poetry must not be chosen on the basis of friendships, pity, whose turn it is, etc. The winning poetry must be the best poetry in the judge's opinion.

Due to the strictness of some poetry forms, some entries may not entirely conform to the established rules for writing a specific type of poem. People put a lot of effort into their poems and may not catch their mistakes. As such, the judge is allowed to choose which mistakes are excusable and which are not. It is the judge's decision as to whether a syllable over or a syllable under is acceptable or not. The judge can choose to be very strict or allow for a bit of leeway. This only applies to more complex forms of poetry, like sonnets. With simpler forms like haiku, a syllable over or under is not acceptable.

How is the judge chosen?

There is only one judge per week. Every week, the judge will almost always be different. The winner of any given week will be offered to be the judge of the following week. If the winner accepts, he or she will be the judge for the following week. If the first-place winner declines to be the judge, then the player who received second-place will be asked. If the person in second-place declines, then the person who won third-place is offered to be the judge. If there are no people left to ask, one of the backup judges will be the judge for the following week. The backup judges are Kissinger-Monroe and Lord protector of the land. In each instance that a backup judge is called for, the judge who was not the used in the last instance shall be the judge for the following week. In other words, the backup judges will alternate each time they are needed.

What does the writer of the winning poetry receive?

The winner of the Poetry Contest will receive a bottle of the Bar's finest alcoholic drink with their name on it. Also, the winner will get the opportunity to be the judge of the following week's contest. The judge chooses the poetry form for the contest. Poetry forms include cinquian, haiku, sonnet, limerick, shape poetry, slam poetry, acrostic, villanelle, ode, obituary poetry/elegy, conceit, nursery rhyme, poetic epigram, tanka, quatrain, and free verse. These are merely examples and the judge may choose a poetry form that is not included here. The judge may even choose to have no required poetry form at all.

Was the contest always like this?

No. For Weeks 1–27, all entries had to be in haiku form. The judge only had the ability to choose the winner, but couldn't choose a form for the week. The winners received bottles of Japanese sake, or other Asian alcoholic drinks if sake was not available.

Are there any guides for writing these poems?



The Winning Poems
Please note that the "❧ Results ☙" and the winning poems are clickable links to the original RMB posts.
There is a character limit for NS dispatches. As such, the winning poems from Weeks 1–30 are recorded in this dispatch. The winning poems from Weeks 31–60 are recorded in this dispatch. The winning poems from Weeks 61–90 are recorded in this dispatch. The winning poems from Weeks 91–120 are recorded in this dispatch.
Week 1

Days: January 9, 2017–January 16, 2017
Judge: Kissinger-Monroe

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Brocklandia

Drink to the author.
He’s so great I cannot speak.
Syllables fail me.


You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 2

Days: January 21, 2017–January 23, 2017
Judge: Brocklandia

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Zombie Penguins

If you drink enough
All the Haiku are awesome
Have another drink.


You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 3

Days: January 28, 2017–January 30, 2017
Judge: Zombie Penguins

❧ Results ☙
Winner: The siri

If I'm not too late
I need to think of something
Clever and quite deep.


You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 4

Days: February 4, 2017–February 6, 2017
Judge: The siri

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Drunkndisorderly

The plates are so clean
that you can eat off of them
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha


You have won stylish yet empty bottles of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 5

Days: February 11, 2017–February 13, 2017
Judge: Drunkndisorderly

❧ Results ☙
Winner: A sapient dump in the bar on the corner

What is this I hear?
Writing haiku: so sexy!?
Well, where is my pen?


Look out you ladies!
The Dump is passing through now.
'Bout to steal your man.


You have won two bottles of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 6

Days: February 18, 2017–February 20, 2017
Judge: A sapient dump in the bar on the corner

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Brocklandia

Zombies will starve here.
Our Bar patrons are brain-free —
a prerequisite.


You have won a bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 7

Days: February 25, 2017–February 27, 2017
Judge: Brocklandia

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Purple empire

I can't like your post
But after reading, I smiled.
Thumbs up for you, pal.


You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 8

Days: March 4, 2017–March 6, 2017
Judge: Lord protector of the land

❧ Results ☙
Winner: The archbishop in the bar on the corner

Ugh! How improper!
A vulgar and obscene dance
Doesn't belong here!

[img]This image has been destroyed.[/img]
Upon being confronted with his prize sake bottle, the Archbishop said a holy chant and broke the bottle into a million pieces. After this incident, the Archbishop shouted, "Lips that touch liquor are lips that sin! Alcohol is a great evil and I do not want to partake in it!" Well, the joke is on the Archbishop because sake is not a liquor; sake is a wine.
Week 9

Days: March 11, 2017–March 13, 2017
Judge: The archbishop in the bar on the corner

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Crenta

Is it Haiku night?
How does one write a Haiku?
I think I need help.


Congratulations! You have won three bottles of the Bar's finest Japanese sake Korean liquor. We ran out of sake this week.
Week 10

Days: March 18, 2017–March 20, 2017
Judge: Crenta

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Zombie Penguins

A haiku a day
Keeps all the monsters away
Except that one, run!


Congratulations! You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 11

Days: March 25, 2017–March 27, 2017
Judge: Zombie Penguins

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Libratus

Pass the cider please,
For it has been a long week.
Next round is on me.


Congratulations! You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 12

Days: April 1, 2017–April 3, 2017
Judge: Libratus

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Velior

What a merry place
Like a secret sea-kissed beach
Alcoholic waves


Congratulations! You have won two bottles of the Bar's finest olive oil!
Week 13

Days: April 8, 2017–April 10, 2017
Judge: Kissinger-Monroe

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Zombie Penguins

A zombie walks in
And asks to have a quick bite,
People run away.


Congratulations! You have won three bottles of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 14

Days: April 15, 2017–April 17, 2017
Judge: Zombie Penguins

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Mother superior in the bar on the corner

Easter: Day of Spring,
Disgusting, life's made to end.
Cthulhu destroys all.

[img]NO SUCH IMAGE EXISTS[/img]
The Mother Superior declined her prize of sake, saying that she did not wish to die. A wise choice.
Week 15

Days: April 22, 2017–April 24, 2017
Judge: Mother superior in the bar on the corner

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Brocklandia

This is my haiku.
Is it not nifty? Why, yes!
It will surely win.


Here is your customary empty bottle of Japanese sake.
Week 16

Days: April 29, 2017–May 1, 2017
Judge: Brocklandia

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Uan aa Boa

And so it begins
with seventeen syllables.
Let haiku commence!


Here is a suspicious bottle filled with an unknown substance. Enjoy.
Week 17

Days: May 6, 2017–May 8, 2017
Judge: Uan aa Boa

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Chieftain Kralj

Brasilistan here
Please don't do a genocide
It is not nice, thanks!


You have won two empty bottles of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 18

Days: May 13, 2017–May 15, 2017
Judge: Lord protector of the land

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Drunkndisorderly

Sleeping is fine, but
No such thing as too much play
Or too many treats


You have three stylish bottles of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 19

Days: May 20, 2017–May 22, 2017
Judge: Drunkndisorderly

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Uan aa Boa

What's the big idea?
So! Hiya Toots! Aw phooey.
Boy oh boy oh boy.


You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 20

Days: May 27, 2017–May 29, 2017
Judge: Uan aa Boa

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Zombie Penguins

The sun and the moon
High in the sky, biding time
Until they attack


You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 21

Days: June 3, 2017–June 5, 2017
Judge: Zombie Penguins

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Brocklandia

I know — I should have
Posted this as a haiku.
I'm much too lazy.


You have won a stylish yet empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake!
Week 22

Days: June 10, 2017–June 12, 2017
Judge: Brocklandia

❧ Results ☙
Winner: The Janitor of the Bar on the Corner

Kissinger-Monroe,
A penny is all I ask,
YOU DIRTY BASTARD!!!!!!

[img]NO IMAGE AVAILABLE[/img]
The winner declined his prize. He said, "The judge, a rival of mine, has chosen my haiku as the winner. As you all know, the winner of the haiku contest receives a bottle of sake. You will also be familiar with the fact that all of the Bar's drinks are fatally toxic. Why would Brocklandia pick my haiku? To kill me! That is why. Ha! Did you really think that you could actually fool me? I know your tricks. As such, I decline the prize."
Week 23

Days: June 17, 2017–June 19, 2017
Judge: The Janitor of the Bar on the Corner

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Andromeda m31

That's quite the picture
Do not look at July, folks.
Your eyes will thank you.


You have won two bottles of the Bar's finest Japanese sake. They're not empty, so I will be seeing you at your funeral.
Week 24

Days: June 24, 2017–June 26, 2017
Judge: Andromeda m31

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Zombie Penguins

Graveyard of Angels
Watching every move, waiting
Never look away


You have won three bottles of the Bar's finest Japanese sake. My condolences.
Week 25

Days: July 1, 2017–July 3, 2017
Judge: Zombie Penguins

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Vault 391

Time to win this thing
I will make the best haiku
To make up for this


You have won a bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake. My condolences.
Week 26

Days: July 8, 2017–July 10, 2017
Judge: Vault 391

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Drunkndisorderly

Endless booze and food
The Bar where we call our home
and regions visit


Borders are open
but we are too drunk to leave
Friends are forever.


You have won these three bottles. I have no idea what they're filled with. Good luck.
Week 27

Days: July 15, 2017–July 17, 2017
Judge: Drunkndisorderly

❧ Results ☙
Winner: Lake of fur

Flavor of the week
Broiled patron in white sauce
Tastes just like chicken


You have won an empty bottle of the Bar's finest Japanese sake. Good luck.
Week 28

Days: July 22, 2017–July 24, 2017
Judge: Lake of fur

Form: Haiku
❧ Results ☙
Winner: Iescech

Ringing in your head
Wake up on the floor in the
Essence of brewed malt


You have won the a bottle of the Bar's finest French champagne. My commiserations.
Week 30

Days: August 5, 2017–August 7, 2017
Judge: The fields of asphodel

Form: Limerick
❧ Results ☙
Winner: Kissinger-Monroe

One day a recruiter from afar
Took a step and appeared in the Bar.
His post was a joke,
The banhammer spoke.
He had left with more than a scar.

[img]NOT AVAILABLE[/img]
Kissinger-Monroe, being the Chief Manager of the Bar, knew that the Bar's drinks were toxic. As such, she did not accept her prize of a bottle of the Bar's finest Irish whiskey.


Multiple Award Winners


*Some of these players won the contest with a poem entered by one of their puppets. The nations listed here are the main nations they use to participate in the Bar.


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