88 Lines About 44 Politicians ~ (apologies to The Nails)

88 Lines About 44 Politicians ~ (apologies to The Nails)

JFK was a Catholic man
He held out till the bitter end
W was a different type
He's the one who sent soldiers in
Barrack was the black man
They were afraid of a guy like that
Nixon watched motion pictures
With thoughts about his wife Pat

Reno was a blameless girl
She worked for Bill and Hillary
Ted Cruz was a Jesus freak
He liked that kind of misery
Palin had a special way
Of spurning those who said she's wrong
Obama, who sure could sing,
Kept the beat and kept it strong

Cheney was an archetype
The voodoo king, the king of wrath
TR might have been the best
Got Howard Taft stuck in the bath
Grover had a bastard child
Smoked and drank had some flab
Donald's point of view was this
Take whatever you can grab

FDR was the greatest man
That left his mark upon the map
Carter he got all tied up
And left hostages near Iraq
Truman didn't like the talk
That made him love the CIA
Eisenhower, who had a son,
That wedded Julie then got laid

Monica, the last taboo
Was splattered by a stain one night
Linda brought the taboo back
And held the dress before the light
Marilyn, who knew no shame,
Kennedy was satisfied
Honest Abe went so fast
He couldn't even say goodbye

Joe McCarthy was horrendous
Let his liquor rot his brain
Old Bush had a house in Houston
Not that far from Lyndon Baines
Pierce thought his life was empty
Filled it up with alcohol
Washington was much too gritty
He didn't need that sh!t at all

Uh-uh, not Washington

Clinton thought that sex was simple
Burned himself then blew it off
McKinley was complicated
Like film noirs despairing plot
Ronnie had his special Lady
Always had him talking straight
Jackie's ride was a shocker
They sent JFK to his fate

Gerald was a football player
Handicapped his Presidency
Jackson with his potency
Had a crazy kind of urgency
Warren Harding liked to f#ck
While in a closet wearing suits
Nixon's strange obsession
Was certain criminal pursuits

Ulysses witnessed all the slaughter
No drunken image woke him up
Quincy's father was a scholar
Got elected then got f#cked
Madison had diff'rent problems
British burned his White House home
Poor Al Gore elected maybe
Grew a beard, then lived alone

Tyler was, but never ran
Ignored the Whigs and then deadlocked
FBI was all J. Edgar
Was wrong about his crooked cops
Victory never visits Mitt
Was not a nihilist
Woodrow was much more my style
Cause he liked songs just like this

Harrison served thirty days
Chilling out till his final day
Teddy drove his Chevrolet
Into Chappaquiddick Bay
Garfield came from Ohio
Needs forensic scientist
Jefferson won Sally Hemmings' kiss
I chose him to end this list.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VungSdIeNFY