1

Dispatch → Bulletin → News

by The Free Land of Zombie Network. . 2 reads.

July Issue #21

July In Zombie Network

Exchange Rates:

1 Zombit = $1.43

Unemployment Rate:

7.3%

Population:

15.662 billion

Core Updates

We are working on a fix with our IT issues please hold........


Summer time!

Welcome to Summer! The sun is shining the tank in clean…. THE TANK IS CLEAN! :) I hope everyone is having a good time and enjoying themselves. Remember get outside because you can stay in when it rains.!


Problem!!!

We seem to have a problem uploading pictures on to our dispatchs well be running a few tests to see what happens


Theme Park Guests Trapped For Harrowing 6 Hours On Stuck Merry-Go-Round

After an electrical issue brought the carousel to a halt, witnesses reported that guests at local theme park Pioneer Amusement Center were trapped Thursday for a harrowing six hours on a stuck merry-go-round. “I can’t explain to you how frightening it was to be suspended two feet off the ground on a fiberglass horse for that long,” said park visitor Luke Loller, who explained that the merry-go-round riders went into a state of utter panic when the ride suddenly stopped, leaving them stranded upon an array of elephants, bears, and lions. “We were battling hunger and dehydration the whole afternoon, sitting there with all the blood rushing to our legs. I spent the entire time looking over at my family, who stood a few yards away from me on the pavement, and wondering if I’d ever be reunited with them. Quite frankly, I thought I would die on that horsey.” At press time, the guests were reportedly rescued by firefighters using an unextended cherry picker.

The Core Report
News Source: www.theonion.com

Raw • Report