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DispatchFactbookLegislation

by The Federal Republic of Wizlandia. . 8 reads.

List of Legislation (22/10/2021 - Now)

22/10/2021:

2327. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Gotta Go Fast.

2328. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay.

2329. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, saying "don't do anything that Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal.

2330. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, army uniforms are replaced en masse to accommodate adult soldiers.

2331. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars.

24/10/2021:

2332. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens.

2333. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the skeletons of lost tourists litter the ground of the Great Wizlandian Desert.

2334. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong.

2335. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people with political aspirations study how to make balloon animals.

2336. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, cleaners are very careful not to bump into the big red button on Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle's desk.

2337. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, students at universities think exercise bikes are pieces of abstract art.

2338. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, classes at Lorenvia University get canceled on Brancaland's Independence Day.

26/10/2021:

2339. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tombstones are ten feet high to accommodate the names of inhabitants.

2340. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, AI citizens are criticized for being robotic.

2341. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a shipwreck is everyone's fault but the captain's.

2342. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sales of trenchcoats are on the rise.

2343. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer.

2344. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, third world countries are rich in "I Love Lorenvia" t-shirts.

27/10/2021:

2345. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election".

2346. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grumpy old house owners demand that pedestrians get off their footpaths.

2347. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, immersive video game experiences are interrupted by incessant disclaimer pop-ups.

2348. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, calling tech support mid-shootout is a common occurrence.

29/10/2021:

2349. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, wind farms are erected on shuttered oil platforms.

2350. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common.

2351. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, woke teenagers spontaneously burst into tears when thinking about the world's woes.

2352. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle has declared a weed sticking through a crack in the sidewalk to be the nation's newest green space.

30/10/2021:

2353. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order.

2354. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents.

2355. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians have been known to swim in pools filled with Wizcoins.

2356. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard.

31/10/2021:

2357. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle to meetings with foreign heads of state.

2358. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, anyone interested in the stock market is investigated.

2359. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, couples kissing on the street are detained for 'unlawful exchange of genetic material'.

2360. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, '.lib' or '.con' domains indicate whether Wizlandian websites are meant for liberals or conservatives.

2361. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets.

1/11/2021:

2362. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, crayon squiggles were a late addition to the works of the Renaissance Old Masters.

2363. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it.

2/11/2021:

2364. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, maximum security Wizlandian subway stations inspire prison systems around the world.

2365. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents.

2366. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teenagers claim that morning paper rounds are performance art.

2367. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school lockers are filled with fancy underwear.

2368. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, air purifiers fight smoke machines on Wizlandian stage setups.

3/11/2021:

2369. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the justice of Wizlandia is considered superior to that of other nations.

5/11/2021:

2370. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, statue-sitting has replaced the stake-out as the dullest form of police duty.

2371. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lip-readers are often left perplexed by political rallies.

2372. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government's new "quiet competence" initiative has supporters and detractors alike reeling in confusion.

2373. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students.

2374. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the television adaptation of Jennifer Government is the most popular program in the nation.

2375. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, armed police units patrol the roads late at night.

2376. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, supermarket milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets.

2377. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle wears an armoured gauntlet.

6/11/2021:

2378. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the cruise missile launchers on the field hospital roof are purely deterrent in purpose.

2379. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government offers gay men mildly offensive tips on how to pass as straight.

2380. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government is constantly producing new maps to accommodate the continual renaming of cities.

2381. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, mathematicians are gathering an infinite number of Owls and typewriters to see if they can recreate the works of Max Barry.

7/11/2021:

2382. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, real power lies not in the debating room but with those who decide what is debated.

2383. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, 4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days'.

2384. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, most believe 'tis better to give than to receive.

2385. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation.

8/11/2021:

2386. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's more vermin than ever on the metro.

2387. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people can get away with murder these days.

10/11/2021:

2388. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap.

2389. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed.

2390. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, passionate nomination battles are often as intense as general elections.

2391. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, grocery stores can be audibly identified by the giggling emerging from them.

2392. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, economists confusingly list "fusarium rot and leaf blight" as major risk factors for monetary deflation.

2393. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a burger chain recently changed its name to Mack Donaldz for legal reasons.

2394. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters.

2395. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, feeling like a winner comes at a price.

11/11/2021:

2396. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework.

2397. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls.

2398. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's no weight to modern politics.

2399. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, children usually cry on their first day of school.

12/11/2021:

2400. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, farmers' market days almost always end in a shooting.

13/11/2021:

2401. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fat-shaming is now public policy.

2402. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.

2403. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, passwords to nuclear codes must now contain upper and lower case characters.

2404. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's never enough space in space.

2405. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point.

2406. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bustling back-alley clinics treat everything from sports injuries to angina.

15/11/2021:

2407. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, "Idol-Worship for the Apathetic" workshops are cancelled when no-one bothers to show up.

2408. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles.

2409. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army.

2410. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes.

2411. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, populations of two-headed Owls have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites.

16/11/2021:

2412. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens.

2413. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is said that a Wizlandian woman's work is never done.

2414. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, biotech companies are fined if their jumbled genetic sequences look too familiar.

2415. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, behind every great person are three dozen other people passing great memos.

2416. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, school children across the country are staging hunger strikes to protest government-mandated salads.

2417. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, people talk about things being better when men were men.

17/11/2021:

2418. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, even in a one-horse town police are as common as fleas on a stray dog.

2419. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, lavish state dinners in Lorenvia are the state's leading budgetary expenditure.

2420. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups.

2421. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway.

18/11/2021:

2422. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools.

2423. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon.

2424. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage.

19/11/2021:

2425. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, where there's smoke there's the Wizlandian Forestry Department.

2426. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation leads Liberal Democratic Union in per capita stalking.

2427. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, no one knows how to tie a reef knot.

2428. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose.

20/11/2021:

2429. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the subway is dead quiet in early afternoons.

21/11/2021:

2430. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the latest drugs are only legally available to private patients.

2431. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the nation is noticeably more cheerful on Tuesdays.

2432. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, only vaccinated citizens may have free healthcare.

2433. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, visitors often mistake the toiletplex at music festivals for the main stage.

2434. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, billion-Wizcoin sentient AI killbots roll through the streets dispensing hot dogs and T-shirts.

2435. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why Chief Executive Ashley Lavelle is a silly poophead.

2436. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, prison visits increase substantially during election years.

2437. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, polite commuters on the Lorenvia Metro always let hurried workers off the train first.

23/11/2021:

2438. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, vitriolic divorce proceedings have become prime-time television.

2439. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the Grinder at Fat Sal's Deli and Recycling Center is a national institution.

2440. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, fifty years of pension funds can disappear in half a second.

2441. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government's suicide hotline now redirects callers to local tax lawyers.

2442. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews.

24/11/2021:

2443. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, kids are taught in schools to argue with their parents.

2444. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt.

2445. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes.

25/11/2021:

2446. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, travelers often bring empty plastic bottles on Air Wizlandia flights to avoid the pay lavatories.

2447. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables.

26/11/2021:

2448. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, bicyclists are banned from major roads.

2449. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the fattest folk in Wizlandia look to be the happiest ones.

2450. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the lasting legacy of the current generation is a million years of buried radioactivity.

2451. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets.

22/12/2021:

2452. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, drugs containing the compound "oleum de serpens" are being sold to cancer patients.

2453. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Lost in Translation.

2454. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, from the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in Wizlandia.

2455. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new one Wizcoin coin also makes a handy throwing-star.

2456. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers.

23/12/2021:

2457. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tourists call Wizlandian beach towns "the fine coastline".

2458. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, boys who take just one date to the high school prom are called 'losers'.

2459. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it's considered providence that the political lexicon contains a syrup of company slogans.

2460. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government has declared its commitment to multilateralism.

26/12/2021:

2461. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison.

2462. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, chrome-clad space marines are such stuff that dreams are made on.

27/12/2021:

2463. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock".

2464. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, there's never a spare chair in the retirement home.

2465. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries.

2466. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, academics have a bone to pick with free market entrepreneurs.

2467. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, many aides in Chief Executive Kieran Lehman's office are known to be serial jaywalkers.

2468. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, embarrassed police officers wear spandex and carry net guns.

2/1/2022:

2469. Wizlandia dismissed the issue Software Giant Stomps on Competition.

2470. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow.

2471. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, ethnic minorities are often refused admission to some of the nation's best schools.

2472. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, to say that military robots are inclined towards violence is offensive.v

2473. Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside.

3/2/2022:

03/02/2022, 0:09:47 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers.
03/02/2022, 0:08:43 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, reflection is vital for badly behaved politicians.
03/02/2022, 0:07:42 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, royalist is the most offensive slur in the Wizlandian language.
03/02/2022, 0:06:28 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police.
03/02/2022, 0:05:27 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings.

04/02/2022, 6:33:08 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, psychiatrists that date patients are congratulated on their romantic conquests.
04/02/2022, 5:28:27 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, politicians always seem to take two steps forward then three steps back.
04/02/2022, 5:28:01 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the new iVote app allows representatives to vote on legislation by launching ill-tempered birds and matching candies.
04/02/2022, 5:27:14 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, Wizlandian police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests.
04/02/2022, 5:26:15 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines.

04/02/2022, 22:41:20 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, several inches are being added to first class seating.
04/02/2022, 22:40:24 GMT-8: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, exported livestock are wined and dined before they are flat ironed.

24/07/2022, 3:54:35 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, tax revenue is often intercepted by international accountants before ever seeing the national treasury.
24/07/2022, 3:53:05 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, sweet-toothed Wizlandians have been left penniless by the VAT on candy.
24/07/2022, 3:52:19 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government denies that it has an agency overseeing plausible deniability of black-ops agencies.
24/07/2022, 3:51:15 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, the government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen.
24/07/2022, 3:50:05 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches.

25/07/2022, 4:34:32 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, teenagers across the country are celebrating the defeat of a national curfew bill.
25/07/2022, 1:12:16 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, a primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world.
25/07/2022, 1:11:34 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, it's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves.
25/07/2022, 1:10:38 GMT-7: Following new legislation in Wizlandia, referenda are held for every conceivable government action.

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