Ups and Downs. The New Talking Point: The State News Article 1 Issue 7

The following matter has come to issue:

The Issue:

Trampoline parks are springing up all over DeerField Cove, with legions of playful children of all ages leaping off raised platforms and bouncing off mats. Perhaps predictably, large numbers of injuries are occurring with a multitude of sprained ankles, a not insignificant number of broken limbs, and even a bizarre incident where two amorous braces-wearing teenagers became entangled and required urgent medical intervention.

The Reaction:

After listening to the ranting of a few advisors and interested parties to this issue, the following it is hereby resolved:

The Resolution:

Park hours fences and safety gear is made available. School crossing guards are summoned to park duty to watch the children while parks are open. Permits for additional trampoline parks are held until the safety equipment can catch up with the injuries.

Until a better resolution arrives, this is the done and ordered without prejudice and action taken forthwith.

All rights reserved and exercised regardless of whether or not they have been used in the past present or future.

Enjoy your parks people! It's important to get out and get some fresh air!

😎