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by The Kaiserreich of Tuirsland. . 22 reads.

Die Adleraugen | February 12, 2021


Die Ad;eraugen--Awarded by the ZIRCAN Journalists' Awards
DATE: February 12, 2273



Prime Minister Frederick Wilson formally resigns, His Imperial Majesty appoints Marshal Rodwin


Pictured: Senator Marshal Rodwin, the newly appointed Prime Minister

Ever since the landslide victory of Frederick Wilson and the Labor Party in the recent Convention of Electors, it had seemed that he suffered a serious brain and mental illness known as the Kynaston’s Disease, an evolved subcategory of Alzheimer’s, it had been found among the people around the ages of 90-103.

The symptoms of the disease include extreme paranoia, anxiety, depression, forgetfulness, and in some cases, brain dysfunction. Prime Minister Wilson had confirmed that he had contracted the disease right after his victory, where they celebrated with some Karfulnian Stew and Heggrassi Wine, which are known to induce Alzheimer’s, and its subcategories of Kynaston, Higgson, Brennan’s Flu, and Crowall’s Flu.

On a private audience at the Stadtsberg Palace, and sources which had come from His Imperial Majesty, himself, the former Prime Minister had formally retired and resigned from his job and had formally recommended Senator Rodwin as his successor, even though he came from the Opposition. In his own words, His Imperial Majesty had reportedly let out an “unconstitutional cheer” when he defeated Prime Minister Leonard Heintze.

Senator Rodwin had been formally appointed by His Imperial Majesty this afternoon at 5:49 PM at Stadtsberg Palace, where he already announced his intentions to “sweep the socialistic stink that had embraced and defiled Tuirsland.”




The Funeral of the Prince Battenberg

No Images were taken during the entirety of the procession, in respects to the Royal Family and their relatives

A month after the Assassination of His Royal Highness, Prince Albert of Greece and Tuirsland, the Kaiser had finally authorized the funeral of the late Prince. The Prince will be buried in Norenstag Imperial Cemetary, in Bulgaria, where most of the Royal Family of Battenberg was buried.

The Funeral started yesterday, February 9, 2273, headed by 30 footmen who were knighted by the Kaiser, followed by the 1803 Imperial Hearse containing the body of the Prince, complete with a full set of honors and swords.

The Imperial Hearse was then followed by the 1st Imperial Dragoons in their full-on armor, who, instead of holding swords, they instead hold muskets, which they fire every town they enter, signaling the arrival of a fallen hero. They were then followed by the Royal Houses’ senior members, headed by the Kaiser, who rode on their horses, who also in full armor.

On every town, cities and villages, people flocked to the streets to pay respects to the late Prince, some even joined the caravan to the Norenstag. It is estimated to be 24.9 million people joined the funeral caravan, and another 100 million who watched the streets. The entire caravan took at least 2 days to complete.

The NRM’s response
In an interview with an anonymous person of the NRM, he said, “…How does this man get to have honors, while us here who are struggling under their oppressive stances get nothing? Why do we have to honor men whose family killed 23 of us? Prince Albert stood as the symbol of Germanic oppression against the peaceful Greeks! These so-called “Greek Royal Family” are no better than an average Greek! The only difference is that they have the power, and we don’t! 23 Killed, yet they have no presented honors! 23 gone and not forgotten, we got the snake’s head! We shall not rest until we fulfill our mission! We shall not rest until we liberated our nation from these Germans!”




What's that noise?
(see on page 4)


Televisions are obsolete (and why we should destroy them)
(see on page 6)


Lawyer from Carolina, Arrested for 24 counts of Arson
(see on page 8)

Written by the Harrison Journalist Company, Reporter for the Die Adleraugen
Created by Ashweald

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