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DispatchFactbookOverview

by Western fardelshufflestein. . 1,050 reads.

The Constitutional Monarchy of Western Fardelshufflestein (Eternal WIP)

The Constitutional Monarchy of Western Fardelshufflestein

Western fardelshufflestein



Motto: Well, We Tried

Anthem: Link National Anthem



Geological Location

[hr]

Population

250,000 [SUBJECT TO CHANGE]

Capital

New Hamletberg

Largest City

New Hamletberg



Official Language

Fardelshufflesteinian

National Language

Fardelshufflesteinian

Demonym

Western Fardelshufflesteiner (n./adj.) interchangeable
Western Fardelshufflesteinian (n./adj.) interchangeable



Ethnic Groups

West Germanic (52%)
Euronesian (28%)
Polynesian (Maori) (12%)



Religion

Roman Catholicism (47%)
Lutheranism (31%)
Christianity (Other) (12%)
Atheism/Agnosticism (5%)
Māori Religion (4.9%)
Other (0.1%)



Government

Constitutional Monarchy

King

Alastair Laertes Amadeus Ludwig Kehrer IV

Queen

Marie Victoria Ethel Kehrer

Crown Princess

Julia Gertrude Cecily Miranda Kehrer

Legislature

Parliament



Currency

Schlub – sch (ß)

GDP

# Trillion (Per Capita) #

HDI

# (High )



Time Zone

NZ (GMT +12)

Calling Code

+671

Drives on the

Right, like civilized people (although this is about as civilized as it gets)

ISO Code

W.F.

Internet LTD

.wf

The Constitutional Monarchy of Western Fardelshufflestein is a small island nation located just northeast of New Zealand's Northern Island. It was settled by Holy Roman Empire emigrants in mid-1622 who, due to an egregious navigational error, initially believed they were in the West Indies. Initially, it was an absolute monarchy ruled by the royal descendants of the same line that had been in power back in the Holy Roman Empire, but a forty-seat Parliament was created in 1756 after the death of King Georg Wilhelm III. Western Fardelshufflestein kept minimal contact with its European neighbors through trade and thus was not always up to date on contemporary happenings, such as the realization (of the Europeans) that WF was not where it was said to be. A reason this remained undiscovered so long was that most transit to and from WF was made exclusively by WFians, who operated using fantastically incorrect navigational skills. While it was understood that they were traveling west, they did not make the connection until the late 1700s, when they came into contact with British penal ships headed for Australia.

Due to their isolation and small size, Western Fardelshufflestein has never formally engaged in a war, though they make their allegiances clear diplomatically. They are fully aware that their military is largely ineffective against even the countries with the weakest armed forces worldwide (that aren't WF, that is.) It is not due to an issue of cowardice that they refrain from war, but the issue of not wanting to get vanquished.

Western Fardelshufflestein has a distinctive culture that combines elements from their Germanic roots, Shakespeare fanaticism, and what can only be described as an element of idiosyncracy that arose due to nearly four centuries of isolation. The official language, Fardelshufflesteinian, is a blend of German and Elizabethan English that has evolved over time into a tongue distinctive from either parent language; however, most Fardelshufflesteinians will read Shakespeare in its original English form, as they can learn English more easily due to Fardelshufflesteinian's connection to it. April 23rd, Shakespeare's alleged birthday and confirmed death day, is a national holiday, complete with performances, parties, and banquets held to imitate events in Shakespeare's time. It is considered to be equal in caliber to Western Fardelshufflestein's national day, 10 August.



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Etymology


The name "Western Fardelshufflestein" is derived from, at the most simplistic level, a believed geographical location and the name of the Holy Roman principality/duchy/princedom/thing they left behind. However, this is a gross generalization that fails to truly capture the meaning of the nation's name.

In 1612, less than a decade before the Thirty Years' War broke out and four years ere Shakespeare died, someone (they never discovered who) copied the then-accepted version of Hamlet's famous soliloquy into the giant rock at the center of the princedom known as the Stolzerstein, or Proud Stone. For whatever reason, the words "fardel" and "shuffle" were carved bigger than the rest of the words, and, since the center of the princedom's cultural heritage had been defaced, "Proud" was no long the right name for the stone. Therefore, it was re-dubbed "Fardelshufflestein."

When the Fardelshufflesteinians settled their independent nation, they erroneously believed they were in the Caribbean; hence, they tacked "Western" onto "Fardelshufflestein" and decided that was to be the name of their great nation. Even when their cataclysmic failure was made known to them, they refused to drop or alter the "Western," for to do so would undermine, they felt, the history of the kingdom as well as their ancestors. Was their grievous navigational failure not enough of a humiliation for them to now have to alter their name? Nein. Thus, the original name remains.

History


Origin


Stolzerstein was located in what is now southern Bavaria near the Austrian border.
Image credit: imganzo via Imgur

Western Fardelshufflestein was settled in 1622 by a population of roughly 650 emigrants who made the journey from Central Europe. Originating from a provincial principality known first as Stolzerstein and subsequently as Fardelshufflestein from 1612 onward, these emigrants erroneously believed they had reached the West Indies due to an egregious navigational error.

When the 30 Years' War broke out in 1618, the Principality of Fardelshufflestein was no more than a collection of three hamlets centered around a rudimentary stone building that housed the area's hereditary leader. Such a leadership system mimicked the hierarchy of Holy Roman princes common at the time, and, although their "prince" was little more than a glorified mayor, Fardelshufflesteiners still addressed their ruler as "Your Highness" or "Your Grace." Yet Fardelshufflestein was far from autonomous. It was subject to the laws of the nearby cities, the local lords, and, ultimately, the Holy Roman Emperor, with its only claim to fame a rock someone had defaced with lines from Shakespeare in 1612.

Fardelshufflestein's Prince in 1618 was a staunch pacifist and devout Catholic named Georg Kehrer. He was relatively young at 21, but he was highly opinionated and refused to participate in the war in any capacity. As such, he greatly reduced trade with nearby villages if he perceived they would use Fardelshufflesteinian goods (which were exclusively surplus goods such as grains and wool) for military use. In November of 1620, Kehrer embarked on a journey to the French coast; there, he determined whether he had the funds and the supplies to uproot his people and leave their native area, as the principality would not survive in what he feared would become a war-torn region.

He found a crew of disgruntled English sailors who were contracted by the Crown to deliver goods to the North American colony of Jamestown; however, the crew had mutinied against their uptight captain and fled to France, where they figured the English Navy would be loath to track them. Unfortunately, due to their main drinking supply being fermented beverages, the crew were prone to irrational decision-making and idiotic impulses; however, they had the skill to navigate across long distances and enough of a fleet for 800 including the crew.

The process of transporting his people from the heart of the HRE to the French coast was arduous. Not only was the distance great, but winter had set in, making conditions perilous for travelers. Yet the impatient and fermented beverage-influenced Georg Kehrer insisted on immediate action. He sent for his people, and, by early March, the first group of exhausted and hypothermic Fardelshufflesteinians reached the port city of Nantes.

Of the 782 documented Fardelshufflesteinians, 551 made the journey, with only one dying of dysentery. (The number of surviving refugees includes the four infants who were born during the trip.) From there, the main issue was dividing them into cohorts: because there were far too many to fit into one ship, and because the English defectors were spread out along the French coast, splitting up the populations into companies was a must. However, fearing separation, families and close friends often stuck together; this greatly hindered the division process, which took up to a week to finalize.

In early April of 1621, the additional English ships reached Nantes, at which point the boarding process began. Immense amounts of provisions had to be stocked, with rotten food discarded, street cats kidnapped for the purpose of hunting rats, and the any identifiers of the English Crown scrubbed. It was decided pirate flags should be flown in place of the colors of Fardelshufflestein. Although this carried the risk of drawing the attention of navies, it would detract unwanted ships traveling in small numbers. Furthermore, pirate flags were much easier to come by if one knew who to ask, which the English sailors did.


The journal of King Georg Kehrer I

Surviving logs as well as the personal diary of George Kehrer mark the date of launch as 20 April 1621. Kehrer wrote that they "departed before the break of dawn, with midnight far passed, and the Loir black as pitch. We left from three stations along the river, each at roughly the same time, and met up once we were out into the bay." Problems arose from the start, primarily with the linguistic barrier between the English-speaking crew members and the German-speaking Fardelshufflesteinians. Although a few Fardleshufflesteinians knew a smattering of English from the plays of Shakespeare (with some only knowing "fardel," shuffle," and English-German cognates), communication was limited to simple gestures. The one crew member who spoke enough German to commune with the Fardelshufflesteinians, the elected captain of the lead ship, was sacrificed by his own crew not a month into the journey when it was decided he was too boring. At that point, passenger-crew communications were restricted to single words and nonverbal gestures.

Adding to the issue was the fact that the adventurers' primary source of hydration came in the form of fermented beverages. Unfortunately, many crew members were often intoxicated during all their waking hours, which led to frequent scuffles and, most infamously, miscalculations in what direction they were headed. Originally, the crew set out west, which was ironically in the general direction they had initially been told to go in. However, at some point, the ships turned southward. Despite the relative intactness of the ships' logs, it is unknown which specific calculation is the culprit, although there are several potential candidates. Fardelshufflesteiners, hailing from landlocked Alpine villages, hadn't the slightest idea how to navigate the open ocean. None of them, Prince Georg Kehrer included, had ever heard of terms such as "port" and "starboard" before emigrating because they had no need for ships. (This is the reason maritime terms in Fardelshufflesteinian are derived from English spellings.) As such, they could not be of any use of correcting the substantial folly of the crew. On their part, the crew were fueled by liquid courage and malnutrition, so their cognitive skills were not the sharpest despite the immense efforts they put into their miserable work.

It was upon rounding the Cape of Good Hope that a few Fardelshufflesteiners, or at least Georg Kehrer, suspected something was amiss. Based on his vivid descriptions of "squalls, accompanied by gusts of wind pushed betwixt the ships and an outcropping of the first land we had encountered in months," historians hypothesize this was the location of his OS moment, again relying primarily on the relative date in Kehrer's journal to his account of landing in Western Fardelshufflestein, as well as the recorded date.

There is evidence the ships may have docked off the coasts of Australia and New Zealand temporarily, although this is not confirmed. The hypothesis is based on information from the ship logs and Kehrer's journal, although Kehrer fell ill toward the end of the journey and was only partially recovered upon disembarking; as such, there is a three- to six-week period in which he did not write. His dates beyond that point are inconsistent with the ship's logs, indicating he lost track of time. A reason for this hypothesis originates in calculated discrepancies between estimated travel time from Nantes to WF and recorded time. In total, the journey took anywhere from two to six months longer than it should have depending on the calculation based on inferred navigational data and knowledge of currents and wind patterns. However, there remains insufficient evidence to confirm this was the case, and the simplest explanation may have been that the ships were blown off course.

The ships settled along the river of an apparently uninhabited island north and slightly east of New Zealand on 10 August 1622. Once everyone stumbled off the heaving vessels and collapsed into the grass, a head count was taken: all in all, 650 of the original 769 passengers and crew had survived, with 17 out of the 19 deaths being crew members aboard a ship that experienced a dysentery outbreak. The 18th death was the captain who had been thrown overboard, Martin English, whilst the 19th death was a Fardelshufflesteinian woman who perished of dysentery. The remarkable survival rate is attributed to God's will and substantial plot armor.

However, this did not mean the refugees were in great health. In fact, they were for the most part undernourished and emaciated, especially those who had fallen ill with fevers such as Prince George Kehrer. Continuing inadequate food supplies were exacerbated by the fact that it was the dead of winter, a notion that terrified most everyone because the logs clearly showed it was August. The two priests (one Roman Catholic and the other an (English Protestant) held vigils that night to purge the land of any evils as a result.

Only 100 or so people died during that grueling first winter, namely due to one sailor's idea to deconstruct a ship and use its materials to build a shelter. This man, Alastair Carpenter, came from a family of (as his surname suggests) carpenters, so he knew a thing or two about wood. By this time, a rudimentary pidgin was developing, and enough was able to be conveyed across both groups that the shelter needed to be built.

Conditions improved in the spring, at which point an official coronation was held for Georg Kehrer as the King of the new Western Fardelshufflestein. The ceremony had to be performed by both priests to lessen between the infighting, but it all worked out well in Kehrer's favor because he got a crown. (Despite his coronation date on 11 November 1623, the beginning of his reign is still marked as 10 August.) It was he who christened their fledgling town as New Hamletberg after the Shakespeare play, his first act as King, and he who formed the navy--or, more accurately, drafted a writ that the remaining ships were naval and would become outfitted as military vessels, save for one that would be used for foreign trade and the one that had been scrapped.

The Early Age (1622-1681)

The first 59 years of WF's history were marked with both great strife and great advancement. For the first five or so years after settlement, the struggles for survival, as well as linguistic and cultural boundaries, plagued the early WFians. Limited resources made materials for building and heating hard to come by, and most of the crops failed season after season despite the settlers' best efforts. However, enough staples remained for a sufficient percentage of the population to survive, and having the land to themselves meant couples could wander and share certain moments together, which led to the births of the first WF natives. Unlike almost anywhere else in Polynesia, there were no indigenous peoples occupying WF. This gave WFians the unique opportunity to develop their civilization without encroaching upon the territory of someone else, as the whole island belonged to them.


WAY HAY AND UP SHE RISES

Exploratory missions of WF were not carried out until around 1630, when the community was deemed stable enough to risk sending off members on journeys they could very well not return from. The first party, which consisted of two Fardelshufflesteinians and two former sailors, was successful in mapping out the coast of the main island. However, three out of the four party members died, and the lone survivor became isolated from the rest of New Hamletberg after returning in 1634. He ended up spending his days as the town drunkard, forever plagued by the deaths of his compatriots and the extended periods of loneliness.

The work of the four explorers, especially the survivor, Edward Lear, provided WFians with a detailed image of their surroundings. As they erroneously believed they were located near the Americas, they compared the maps of their island to those of the West Indies to estimate where they were. When they could not locate an island whose shape bore resemblance to WF, they concluded falsely they had founded a yet-undiscovered island south of the region. (No, even the decidedly un-tropical weather did not raise a red flag.)

Two more missions were dispatched during the reign of King Georg I, one to map the interior of the island and the other to study the smaller island adjacent to the one they had settled. Both of these missions were led by a trio of former sailors. Whilst the WFians gained knowledge of their surroundings, King Georg facilitated trade between his nation and Europe using but one ship. Employing the most competent and sober sailors led by Alastair Carpenter, he sent the ship homeward every other year with the knowledge a round trip might take up to a year's time. Taxing though this was on the sailors, they were given comfortable lodgings while they were home, and their families were taken care of when they were away. In 1642, the ship set sail, only to never return; if it ever reached the port of Europe of was lost beforehand remains unknown. The ship and the twenty sailors who disappeared are known as the Lost Voyagers.

It would seem reasonable that, with an established (albeit inconvenient) Europe trade route, the WFians would finally figure out their true geographical location. Yet this was not the case. Even with the fact that the sailors knew they had to sail west, they figured their southerly location was enough to bring them around the Americas in a timely manner. Because all navigational maps showed WF in the wrong corner of the world, and because European nations refused to send ships to an independent colony for fear of starting yet another war, the fallacy perpetuated. Yet mainlanders, though only a limited number at a time, were permitted to board the WF trade ship and settle in New Hamletberg after 1644.

Back in New Hamletberg, materials gathered from abroad were used to assemble the city, namely dwellings, a schoolhouse, and one church for followers of both denominations to share. Although there was much dismay over this arrangement, the lack of resources required conservation, and the decision was made to hold services at alternating times within the same building. Meanwhile, the foundation for Elsinore Palace was laid. Due to the aforementioned lack of resources, the original wing of the palace was quite small--it could hardly be called a palace at all, in fact--with only three stories and eight rooms. Its size grew immensely over time in the subsequent decades as greater access to resources was achieved, with almost every king in the Early Age adding onto the structure. Yet the project often took a back burner to overall infrastructure, especially since the population was on the rise, and many families were packing up their belongings to establish life elsewhere by Georg I's death in 1653. His son King Wilhelm I worked to establish connections with the groups of inland families in the form of roads; however, inhabitants of the burgeoning villages showed limited interest.

It was only during the 1660's that New Hamletberg first tasted prosperity. King Wilhelm I unveiled WF's first currency, known simply as the mark, in 1659 after almost 6 years of designing and perfecting the system. Adapting the European policy of mercantilism for his needs, he constructed a tentative economic system promoting self-sufficiency over reliance upon Europe for goods. Although this mindset had long since been established in WF, it was King Wilhelm I who furthered it. Until the inception of the mark, WFian trade had consisted largely of surplus raw materials and coins that had survived the voyage from Europe. Its implementation meant the slowly growing population had a meager but stable currency backed by the scant supply of gold in the royal treasury. Mark usage also freed the remaining European coins (which are believed to have been ducats) from domestic use, meaning they could be utilized exclusively for foreign exchange. As such, WFians had more incentive to purchase goods from one another and had an objective way to measure wealth.


A picture of ducats to break up the text because this thing is looong.

WF's first luxury clothing producer arose in 1664, and its first glassmaking shoppe was established in 1665. (Before then, glass had been a low priority due to its fragility, but it was finally decided glassmaking should be initiated ere the last people with memories of glass died out.) Windows were finally introduced to buildings, and the excess lumber was used to craft tools and furniture.

King Wilhelm I's reign was marked by the first gathering of domestic intelligentsia in the nation's history. Although Enlightenment ideals were not yet instilled upon WF, increased economic productivity meant there were more workers than needed. As a result, the intellectuals of New Hamletberg held an official meeting in 1669 to establish an academic society called the Wilhelmite Society, after the Germanized version of William. The main purpose of the society was to organize and preserve the volumes and history of the nation, and the work of its members ensured the survival of documents from as early as 1610. Although often scrutinized as being burdens to WF, the Wilhelmites received plaudits and funding from the King so they could carry out their mission.

Letters from 1670 between the Wilhelmites and the King indicate the first widespread celebration of Shakespeare occurred during that year. Although Shakespeare had become a staple of Fardelshufflesteinian culture, he and his works were secondary to the survival of the people and therefore the nation; furthermore, because scholars had not yet determined the birth or death of Shakespeare, WFians opted to celebrate him on the anniversary of their founding, 10 August. For decades, Shakespeare was celebrated alongside the birth of the nation, with the two events becoming intertwined.

Most intriguing about this series of letters, however, is almost completely unrelated to the cultural developments that are central to these missives. In one letter to the Wilhelmites, diverting from the topic of English-Fardelshufflesteinian translation, the King wrote: I hold it that I as King am Servant of the People, not the other way around, yet my closest staff insist the latter should be as such. I oft wonder if it would be wise to copy the system of the English and establish a parliament to give the people more of a voice and raise them to a level more equal to the Crown. King Wilhelm I's statement, known by historians as the Servant Proposition, is the first record of a WFian suggesting any form of representative government.

Following the death of King Wilhelm I by dysentery in 1671, his son, Georg Wilhelm I, instituted a series of reforms pertaining to freedom of religion. An influx of Lutheran immigrants from the 1660s onward had increased religious tensions in WF, particularly between the majority Catholics and Lutheran settlers. Leadership under Wilhelm I severely limited the rights of the Lutherans, taking the relatively moderate discriminatory laws against the dwindling Anglican populace to the extreme. Lutherans were forbidden to own land, marry non-Lutherans, attend communal schools, hold prestigious positions (such as a doctor), or congregate. Of course, the Lutheran settlers exploited loopholes in the laws, often causing conflicts with New Hamletberg's scant law enforcement and inciting street fights on an almost weekly basis. The skirmishes got to such an extreme level that city dwellers would not dare to go out after nightfall and traveled in large groups. Even then, spontaneous scuffles were common, even between members of the same denomination.

The rivalry reached a boiling point when, on 17 May 1671, the mutilated corpse of a young Lutheran was found strung up in the New Hamletberg's central square. Horrified and outraged, several young Lutheran men seized the nearest non-Lutheran they could find, twelve-year-old Heinrick Brandt, whom they brutally beat to death in retaliation while dozens of people watched. Within minutes, members of the crowd turned on each other, and a massive brawl broke out that left three people dead and several more gravely injured. The limited size of the police force meant only five arrests could be made, and the military (which back then only consisted of the navy) was summoned to intervene and prevent more fatalities.

This dreadful occurrence came to be known as Devil's Sunday, with the day of the week being based upon the Gregorian calendar. Devil's Sunday spurned the recently coronated Georg Wilhelm I to renounce the discriminatory laws and issue a freedom of religion decree that afternoon. He had, in fact, been drafting reforms to eschew these laws and would have issued them earlier had he understood the gravitas of the situation, which had escalated quickly and gotten out of hand really fast. (Additionally, he was a sheltered boi by the nature of his being royal and was kept away from the weekly melees.)


This is a depiction of the murder of Georg Wilhelm I and definitely not a scene from Hamlet.

King Georg Wilhelm Kehrer I's reign came to an abrupt end on 5 August 1678 when he was stabbed through an arras by a hooded assassin. His final words to the attendants who rushed in far too late were "O, I am slain," making him both the first WFian monarch to have his final words recorded as well as the first WFian monarch to be murdered.

Unfortunately, Georg Wilhelm I's death had a profound effect on his son and successor, Georg Wilhelm II. The young man descended into madness over the course of his short reign and was completely incapacitated by 1680; he spent his days shrieking and violently lunging at anyone who dared come near him. He locked himself in his private chambers and subsisted on meals brought up thrice daily to the kitchens, though he soon became so paranoid he demanded the staffer who brought it up to consume half his meal before he'd even think to touch it. After a period of three months, Georg Wilhelm had become so thin that his ribs were countable and he could hardly stand. Fearing for his life, the cooks began increasing the portion sizes of his meals so he'd get enough to eat. Yet his condition continued to worsen: he refused to wear certain types of clothing such as shoes and doublets, as well as certain clothing that was red, gray, or black. His aversion to clothing progressed to the point where he would only wear undergarments, and that was only at the behest of palace workers. He ripped the curtains from his windows and the sheets from his bed, and took to sleeping on the floor; in the cold months, the hearth had to be periodically stoked by a staffer to prevent him from freezing to death.

The King's severe psychological illness and inability to rule prompted his advisors to form a ruling committee in his absence. They carried out all legislative and executive decisions, as well as facilitated domestic and foreign affairs; in addition, it was the committee's task to direct physicians who would monitor the health of the young monarch. The doctors' valiant efforts to cure him included procedures to balance the four humors, as well as attempts to forcibly remove him from his room and take him outside for fresh air. But he screamed bloody murder if anyone so much as touched him, and he fought anyone who bodily lifted him off the ground and carried him beyond the doorframe, once going so far as to jab his finger into a naval recruit's eye. A priest was brought in in January 1681 to perform an exorcism on him; while his condition seemed to improve for about a week, he rapidly deteriorated to the point where he refused to get up off the ground and had to be fed by mouth. His death in August of that year was ruled to be a combination of madness and starvation, yet historians have reason to suspect foul play was involved. Recent evidence suggests he was fed poison-laced meals for the final months of his life in the form of his physician's detailed account of his physical condition. The symptoms described in the account are eerily similar to those of arsenic poisoning. In early 2020, efforts to exhume the remains of Georg Wilhelm II were initiated, but those efforts were delayed upon the death of King Alastair III.


The Prosperous Age (1681-1732)


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The Dread Age (1732-1756)


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The Constitution Age (1756-1846)


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The Succession Crisis (1846-1859)


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The Triumphant Age (1859-1938)


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The Modern Age (1938-2020)


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Present (2020-present)


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Society and Culture


Education

The WFian education system is somewhat modeled after Western education, yet it has a distinctive grading system and division between the primary and secondary levels. All students must attend school from kindergarten until the end of Grade 6, at which point about 45% (as of 2019) matriculate to university. The division of years, called classes in the lower level and grades in the upper level, are as follows:

Lower Level

Typical Age

Upper Level

Typical Age

Kindergarten

5-6

Grade 1

12-13

Class 1

6-7

Grade 2

13-14

Class 2

7-8

Grade 3

14-15

Class 3

8-9

Grade 4

15-16

Class 4

9-10

Grade 5

16-17

Class 5

10-11

Grade 6

17-18

Class 6

11-12

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For reference, Crown Princess Julia (17) is in Grade 5 and Prince Alastair (13) is in Grade 2.

Following the schedule of many schools in the West, the WFian school year begins the second week of August and ends the final week of May, with breaks for Christmas and Easter. However, unlike in Western countries, the break betwixt school years is during the winter as opposed to summer. The worry of transporting children to school, many of whom walk to classes in rural areas, during the winter months provided a solid argument for the adjustment of the school calendar in 1969. Persuaded by the need to protect their students, the government approved the transition and began to shift the calendar from a year-round system in 1970.

The latest date an incoming kindergarteners 5th birthday can be is 31 August. Due to the developmental age gap between children entering kindergarten at the verge of turning 6 and those who are still 4, kindergarten classes are often divided by birthday if the school is large enough. (In rural areas, this is almost never the case.) To use Crown Princess Julia as an example, her birthday of 7 September places her among the very eldest of her grade; due to the nature of birthday cutoffs, she is almost 12 months older than the youngest people in Grade 5. Prince Wilhelm, however, was born 11 August and therefore began kindergarten right around his 5th birthday, making him one of the youngest.

Children who began school in foreign countries will be placed in the level that corresponds with their home country class; if the child is ahead or behind due to differences in the school year, the child will be enrolled in remedial or supplemental courses until he/she is at a level equal to the rest of the grade. Often, foreign-born children speak no Fardelshufflesteinian, so they are frequently given their assignments in their native language in addition to assignments in Fardelshufflesteinian. They also receive supplemental tutoring to help them adjust to the language and culture at a comfortable pace.

History Topic

Corresponding Grade

Ancient Civilizations

1

World History 1 AD - 1800 AD

2

1800 AD - 1945 AD

3

1945 AD - Present

4

History of WF

5

Choose One:
Maori History
Australian History
European History
US History

6

Academics in WF are biased toward the humanities by the nature of the great emphasis on language. WFian children begin studies in English and German in Kindergarten, although children who attend nonessential preschool programs may begin rudimentary studies there. Language learning begins early because children have a more natural affinity for language acquisition than do adolescents and adults, so by the time they reach Grade 3 or 4 WFian children will be fluent or near-fluent in both of these languages. Incorporation of English and German into the WFian curriculum has its roots in the origin of the nation, which consisted of a population that spoke either English or German. Furthermore, because Fardelshufflesteinian is a creole at the crossroads of these two languages, they are relatively easier for Fardelshufflesteiners to study. WFian children also take classes on the Fardelshufflesteinian language and its literature, as well as history, mathematics, and science. In the lower level, visual art, gym, and music classes are incorporated into daily schedules as fun yet educational breaks from core work. In the upper level, all students must take a gym course in Grade 1. In grades 2-6, students must choose between taking gym, music (almost exclusively instrumental), drama, or visual art. (The availability of many of these courses varies drastically between rural and urban areas, although resources are improving for rural students.) Topics such as s3x ed are incorporated into humanities subjects like literature as fortnight-long units.

Unsurprisingly, students in Grades 3-6 are required to read at least one Shakespeare play in original English. Due to the rigorous nature of Shakespeare, the end of Grade 2 is marked by and English language proficiency exam, which students must pass to advance to Grade 3. The test strikes fear into the hearts of children in Grade 2, who must endure months of intense English language study and immersion to prepare them for the trials of reading the Bard. Fortunately for them, this test is presented as the Grade 2 final exam and is one of the few standardized tests WFians will ever have to take. Similarly, German language courses delve into German literature beginning at Grade 3, although there is fortunately no Shakespeare equivalent in German. However, students frequently encounter records and journal entries from the earliest WFians (back before Fardelshufflsteinian was formed) in their German classes. History, meanwhile, follows a structured pattern in its progression in the Upper Level, as is illustrated in the table.

Mathematics is meanwhile divided simply as Mathematics 1-6, with science following a progressive format: Grade 1 focuses primarily on geology and earth science; Grades 2-3 focus on biology; Grades 4-5 focus on chemistry; and Grade 6 is tops it all off with a torture session in introductory physics. Literature, meanwhile, studies either translated works of foreign literature or the few works of WFian fiction that are a) not Shakespearean fanfiction and b) actually good. It often conflates with English class in that it reads translated English literature due to the accessibility of English language works.

Course

Mark

Mathematics G1

5

History--Ancient Civ

4

German Lang G1

5

Literature G1

5

English Lang G1

7

Science G1

5

Gymnasium G1

P

A final report card of a Grade 1 student with borderline passing marks. Note the Pass/Fail system is still used for the elective course.
Yes, this is Prince Al's 2020-21 report card.

The grading system in WF differs between the Lower Level and the Upper Level, with the Lower Level system consisting of a pass/fail rule. In 2011, the Pass Plus and Borderline scores were added to distinguish students who performed far above what was expected and students who passed but may need additional help from the average pool of students.

For the Upper Level, a 10-point system is followed, with 10 being a perfect score and 0 indicating an incorrect answer for every question. 0s are also given to students caught cheating, in addition to a disciplinary mark. Although the point numbers may correspond to percentages for a 10-point quiz, this is not always the case. Points are divided between questions according to difficulty, and, depending on the number of questions, will be reduced to fractions of a point or raised to more than one point. Point division is further regulated by an algorithm of what level of accuracy corresponds to what point score, which often differs from subject to subject. A passing level is anything that is a 5 or above, with a score of 5 indicating borderline proficiency and the possible need for academic supplement. A student who receives a 4 or lower as a final course grade will be placed in a remedial course for the next year, in which the previous year's material is reviewed and the student is subsequently brought up to grade level. Due to the humiliation students who fail a course often experience, the remediation system was installed rather than forcing students to repeat a course with students of the grade below them. However, if a student fails more than 3 of their courses or receives a 5 or below in all courses, having the student repeat the grade is often the most beneficial solution.

A student may be reassigned to a remedial course in the middle of the school year if it is determined they will be unable to complete the coursework in time, or simply do not understand the material. This is less common than the implementation of tutoring sessions and is largely considered a last resort.

Demographic


Population

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Religion

The official religion of Western Fardelshufflestein is Roman Catholicism; approximately 48% of Western Fardelshufflesteiners, however, are practicing Catholics, which is just under half of the population.

A sizable portion of Western Fardelshufflesteiners are Lutheran and other Protestant denominations, with the entire Protestant population representing 43% of the total populace. This means that, while Christianity is the majority religion, no one denomination stands as the national majority.

The next largest religion, or lack thereof, is the Atheist/Agnostic population. Atheists and Agnostics only account for another 5% of the population, making them a very small minority, but they are still the largest non-Christian group in the Constitutional Monarchy. They are followed in size by the 4% of Western Fardelshufflesteiners who practice the traditional religion of the Māori.

The final 0.1% of Western Fardelshufflesteiners practice any other religion that has not been listed. In New Hamletberg, there are religious communities for Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Judaism, with the combined population of all these communities hovering around 500.

Government


The Branches of Government

The Government of Western Fardelshufflestein is divided into two branches: the legislative branch and the executive branch. The legislative branch consists of Parliament and deals in the making and passing of the nation's laws, but can also declare war and impeach the Monarch. The executive branch, which is headed by the Monarch, carries out the laws that are passed by Parliament and is the de jure head of Western Fardelshufflestein's Supreme Court, though the judicial system operates as a separate branch de facto.

The Legislative Branch

The legislative branch, known primarily as Parliament, is a unicameral body that consists of 40 elected members and facilitates the passage of laws of the nation. Parliament was officially created in 1756 after the death of the highly authoritarian King Georg Wilhelm III, who severely restricted individual rights and claimed the divine right of kings to abuse his power. The five districts of Western Fardelshufflestein, sometimes referred to as the five municipal areas, were used as the five electoral districts; each district was to send four representatives each, but the number became two in 1869 because the citizens felt that twenty was too small a number for a lawmaking power and they liked the structure of the United States Senate. Elections are held every two years in staggered cycles, meaning that, while each Parliamentarian has a four-year term, the terms are offset. Half of the seats will be up for grabs in one two-year cycle, and the other half of the seats will be up for grabs the next two years. There are still no term limits on Parliament, which often results in the same WWE rejects getting reelected.


A visual diagram of WF's Parliament as of 2020

Currently, the forty Parliament seats are divided such that there is no one-party or two-party hegemony. As such, the political atmosphere becomes more divided and chaotic, which, rather than pitting the Parliamentarians against one another in dual factions, promotes an atmosphere ideal for free-for-alls. Parliament is currently segmented as follows:
  • Schlurfen Party (Yellow)--11 Seats

  • Republickaner Party (Light Teal)--15 Seats

  • Zentrist Party (Dark Mint)--9 Seats

  • Liberalist Party (Rose Pink)--3 Seats

  • Kehrer Party (Fardelshufflestein Blue)--1 Seat

  • Uncle-Father Party (Black)--1 Seat


This still from 2011 was actually taken on a relatively calm day

The powers of Parliament are the ability to design and pass bills, override a Royal Veto, approve Royal Appointments, handle the annual national budget, negotiate treaties, hold impeachment hearings, and, in rare cases, declare war; however, the most power that Parliament actually holds are its members' abilities to throw punches. Less of the voice of the people and more of its fist, Parliament breaks into violent brawls on a near-daily basis, sometimes reaching such epic proportions that Internet-goers outside of Western Fardelshufflestein may occasionally take notice. The two main political parties are so deeply divided over matters that they prefer to spray with Silly String first, ask questions later, so it is very rare that something actually gets done in Parliament. King Alastair IV has made his opinion on Parliament's actions known many a time, but he hardly holds credibility in judging others for their antics, seeing as his recent escapades alone have garnered him more attention than has been given to Parliament. (To put this into perspective, WF C-Span is extremely popular because its live broadcasts feature sessions of Parliament and, thus, their brawls.)

The Executive Branch

The executive branch, aka the Crown, is the oldest governmental institution in Western Fardelshufflestein. Its origins reach back to when the settlers of Western Fardelshufflestein still lived in the Holy Roman Empire, where their princedom was run by the progenitors of the Kehrer line. When WF was founded, it was only natural that their Prince be crowned as King of Western Fardelshufflestein and the line perpetuated.

The Kehrer dynasty has the distinction of being separate from the European monarchies in terms of intermarriage. Their monarchs have generally married WF nobles and the occasional foreign aristocrat, but no intentional inbreeding has occurred *cough* Habsburgs *cough*. While their governmental power has substantially waned over the centuries, their national influence and prominence have not, and they still hold the executive branch of the government in their grasp.


WF's current King, Alastair IV

The title of King or Queen, which used to be passed only to the oldest son or next living male heir, is now passed to the eldest child regardless of gender. A hereditary Monarch can only lose their position if they die, formally abdicate, are forced to abdicate by Parliament, or they become too incapacitated to rule; in the final case, it is customary for the heir apparent to rule as Prince or Princess Regent. Spouses of the Monarch can also be crowned King or Queen and may partake in the ruling of the country, or they may remain a Duke/Duchess and be less connected to government affairs. In the former case, when the Monarch can no longer reign, the Spouse must abdicate and become a Former Monarch to ensure the continuation of the royal line, but may continue to serve as an Advisor to the new Monarch; in the latter case, the Spouse's title is not affected by the death or abdication of the Monarch.

Due to laws enacted in 1968, the Monarch is no longer required to marry a person of wealthy or aristocratic blood; they may choose to marry for love and are not subjected to political marriage. However, the Monarch and Heir Apparent should take care in marrying someone who is aligned with their political values.

It is not uncommon for the Monarch to have several close advisors who are blood relatives, such as siblings, uncles, or cousins, but a Kehrer is not allowed to be an official Member of Parliament or a Cabinet Minister.

The powers of the Monarch, as of 2020, are as follows: The Monarch is the Commander in Chief of the Royal Western Fardelshufflestein Armed Forces; The Monarch Has the Power to Veto Bills Passed by Parliament, but Cannot Override and Overriden Veto; The Monarch Shall Serve as the Chief Diplomat and the Chief Executive of the Nation, and as Such Shall Represent The Constitutional Monarchy as a Whole; The Monarch Has the Power to Manage and Reform the Justice System as the Monarch Sees Fit; The Monarch May Appoint and Dismiss Cabinet Officials and Court Justices; And, Above All, The Monarch Must Always Adhere to the Will of the People.

Foreign Relations

Being the incredibly small nation that is is, Western Fardelshufflestein holds virtually zero influence on the world stage. It is a member of the UN and a partner of NATO; however, WF is unable to accomplish much internationally, though they try to be advocates for the healing of schisms within and between religions.

Though WF is a historically militarily neutral state, it does tend to support the endeavors of nations allied with the greater Western powers such as as Australia and New Zealand. It has embassies in New Zealand, Australia, the United States, Great Britain, Germany, and Austria, with a consulate for Liechtenstein who traditionally resides in Vienna. WF also has positive relations with South Korea, Japan, and most Polynesian states, though no embassies, and is generally not interested in annexing any part of Antarctica.

Western Fardelshufflestein is neutral toward the EU in general (read: they don't care) and has slightly negative relations with Russia and China. Most WFians say the greatest threat to their nation is either China or North Korea, which is a dramatic shift from their fear of Japan, Germany, and the United States during the Second World War and Great Britain beforehand. It is not uncommon for citizens of WF to tease New Zealanders for still being part of the British Commonwealth, especially since WF was settled as an independent state, but they consider New Zealand to be their closest ally. (New Zealand could not, at this time, be reached for comment, so we'll assume they prefer Australia.)

Economy


Bold of you to assume I know the first thing about economics.
I do know the first thing, but after the fifth or sixth thing, probably not.

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