The Logical Socialist Democracy of Zess is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Charlie David Hanson with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.737 billion Zessians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital District. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Zessian economy, worth a remarkable 1,360 trillion exchange tickets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 155,713 exchange tickets, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony, the experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Immortal Jellyfish Dung" has been declared a national treasure, going on a diet invalidates your passport, and laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts. Crime is totally unknown. Zess's national animal is the immortal jellyfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Zess is ranked 16,725^th in the world and 1,102^nd in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 92.52 law-abiding acts per hour.