The Polemic Hagiarchy of Zenzibar is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Tulkinghorn with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, strictly enforced bedtime, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.4 billion Zenzites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Spirituality, Law & Order, and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bleak House. The average income tax rate is 97.6%.

The powerhouse Zenzish economy, worth a remarkable 3,003 trillion Food Stamps a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 224,167 Food Stamps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

They say insanity is torturing the same citizens over and over again and expecting a different result, there's more than one way to skin a diplomat, a new apartment is worth a thousand betrayals, and politicians literally speak literally. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zenzibar's national animal is the cricket, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Orthodoxical Pulsification.

Zenzibar is ranked 87^th in the world and 1^st in Capitalist Paradise for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 70,444.75 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.