Most Ignorant Citizens: 974thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,093rdMost Stationary: 1,370th
The Matriarchy of
Mother Knows Best State
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

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Wailing Grannies

Population23.516 billion

FaithDisapproving Catholics


The Matriarchy of Wailing Grannies is a gargantuan, orderly nation, renowned for its public floggings, parental licensing program, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.516 billion Wailing Granniesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kyiv. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.2%.

The strong Wailing Granniesian economy, worth a remarkable 2,605 trillion shrouds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 110,776 shrouds, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 628,045 per year while the poor average 9,552, a ratio of 65.7 to 1.

A decrease in wailing and gnashing of teeth at astronomical events is reducing demand for dentistry, funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience, women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms, and every workday begins with group therapy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Wailing Grannies's national animal is the corpse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Disapproving Catholics.

Wailing Grannies is ranked 268,173rd in the world and 63rd in Nudist Dreamland for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring -12.65 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 974thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,093rdMost Stationary: 1,370thMost Primitive: 1,656thNudest: 1,823rdMost Devout: 2,163rdFattest Citizens: 2,579thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,601stTop
Most Avoided: 4,109thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,847thLargest Insurance Industry: 6,500thLargest Populations: 6,538thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,792ndHighest Economic Output: 7,034thHighest Disposable Incomes: 7,258thLargest Mining Sector: 7,513thLargest Black Market: 7,751stMost Influential: 9,364thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 9,563rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,981stLargest Retail Industry: 10,118thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,808thTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 19,277thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 21,200thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 22,559th
Most Devout: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Primitive: 3rd in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionFattest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 5th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 5th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 5th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6th in the regionMost Conservative: 6th in the regionMost Avoided: 6th in the region

National Happenings

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