The Holy Brown Mountain Bears of Turbaio is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Mary Queen of Scots with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, zero percent divorce rate, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 15.646 billion Islanders are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bembridge. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.0%.

The all-consuming Turbaioan economy, worth a remarkable 1,621 trillion Gold Sovereigns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 103,668 Gold Sovereigns, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 374,887 per year while the poor average 20,458, a ratio of 18.3 to 1.

Urbanites are banned from bucolic settings for safety concerns, Mary Queen of Scots knows that some internet activities are strictly solitary (Turbaio has found 1 easter egg), boot polish is the favourite lip gloss of entry-level corporate workers, and the disabled are forced to undergo an MRI scan every time they pick up their benefit payments. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Turbaio's national animal is the Lucky Grizzly Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholic.

Turbaio is ranked 235,384^th in the world and 2^nd in Isle of Wight for Lowest Crime Rates, with 55.31 law-abiding acts per hour.