The Peaceful Free Republic of Tubularia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Benevolent God-Emperor for Eternity Oki with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, fear of technology, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.913 billion little playthings are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ephebe. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tubularian economy, worth an astonishing 11,782 trillion tusks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 591,713 tusks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists, strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins, war criminals are given full state funerals, and overhead luggage compartments on planes sometimes conceal diminutive intelligence officers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tubularia's national animal is the elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sekkism.

Tubularia is ranked 115^th in the world and 1^st in Deliciousness for Lowest Crime Rates, with 277.81 law-abiding acts per hour.