The Surfernate of TheStonedSurfers is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Kekoa I with a fair hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, smutty television, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, democratic population of 21.499 billion Surferians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kiri. The average income tax rate is 79.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Surferian economy, worth a remarkable 1,825 trillion Mokas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is 84,908 Mokas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every week is blindness awareness week, the World Surfernate Games have been won again by TheStonedSurfers as no other country cares enough to compete, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, and Surferians incessantly needle their doctors for relief. Crime is totally unknown. TheStonedSurfers's national animal is the Dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Surferian Polytheism.

TheStonedSurfers is ranked 52,971^st in the world and 3^rd in The Beach for Lowest Crime Rates, with 73.37 law-abiding acts per hour.