The Free Land of The Tugboat Complex is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by a shogun named Marcus with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, democratic population of 14.678 billion Coffee Drinkers are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Awnstilts. The average income tax rate is 91.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient a Coffee Drinker economy, worth a remarkable 1,373 trillion bitcoins a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 93,556 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Toy versions of heroin paraphernalia let kids pretend to be their favourite TV characters, vital intelligence-gathering activities are often put on hold for Call of Honor tournaments, a Coffee Drinker companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation, and preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Tugboat Complex's national animal is the Danky Kang, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Tugboat Complex is ranked 265,233^rd in the world and 919^th in Europeia for Most Avoided, scoring 0.62 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.