The United Socialist States of The Tsardom of Muscovy is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Jesse with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, zero percent divorce rate, and state-planned economy. The compassionate population of 12.393 billion Soviets are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Leningrad. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Soviet economy, worth a remarkable 1,412 trillion Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 114,010 Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Stony-faced prosecutors play loud gangster rap music during court proceedings, wedding bands come in pairs to form wedding manacles, the government has been criticized for giving away The Tsardom of Muscovy's territory to anyone who claims it, and a cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Tsardom of Muscovy's national animal is the Hermit Crab, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

The Tsardom of Muscovy is ranked 265,494^th in the world and 1,861^st in The Communist Bloc for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.58 crimes per hour.