The Evil Conservative Empire of The Palentine is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Empress Jhessan Spaulding with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, free-roaming dinosaurs, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 37.703 billion Palentineans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Burgh. The average income tax rate is 24.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Palentinean economy, worth an astonishing 13,036 trillion greenbacks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 345,776 greenbacks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Reaganism now admits men and women into its clergy, concerned environmentalists wipe away their tears with tissues sourced from Tasmanian old-growth redwoods, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army, and bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Palentine's national animal is the sphinxian treecat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Reaganism.

The Palentine is ranked 1,159^th in the world and 5^th in Antarctic Oasis for Fattest Citizens, with 58.27 Obesity Rate.