The Greater State of Telonovia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Marshal Zelista Horken with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 6.107 billion Telonovians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lomania. The average income tax rate is 68.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Telonovian economy, worth a remarkable 1,030 trillion Stalisias a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 168,728 Stalisias, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Vanity is considered the fifth cardinal virtue, the government recently relinquished its monopoly on the mail service, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", and people forget to eat because they are too busy singing Marshal Zelista Horken's praises. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telonovia's national animal is the Red Fox, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Telonovia is ranked 22,828^th in the world and 510^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 87.5 law-abiding acts per hour.