The Protectorate of Spice Harvester 395 is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, anti-smoking policies, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 8.366 billion Spice Harvester 395ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 42.7%.

The all-consuming Spice Harvester 395ian economy, worth 968 trillion spices a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 115,738 spices, with the richest citizens earning 6.4 times as much as the poorest.

Internet service is too costly for normal people to purchase, pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit, the study of quantum physics has been outlawed for fear of accidentally causing the end of the world, and the standard government reply to any query is "there is no spoon". Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Spice Harvester 395's national animal is the sandworm, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Spice Harvester 395 is ranked 231,534^th in the world and 731^st in Jihad Army of the Emperor for Lowest Crime Rates, with 55.82 law-abiding acts per hour.