The United Socialist States of Sldemko is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Aŭstin The ¼ with an iron fist, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, enslaved workforce, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.455 billion Sldemkoans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bivinmite. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Sldemkoan economy, worth a remarkable 3,882 trillion jeiks a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Soda Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 251,206 jeiks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, claims adjusters are uselessly vague, document forgery is a critical skill for would-be politicians, and private clinics eagerly advertise their trivial specialties. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sldemko's national animal is the Goldfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Ludlamism.

Sldemko is ranked 21,146^th in the world and 1,523^rd in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.78 law-abiding acts per hour.