The Republic of Texas of Sam Houston is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its deadly medical pandemics, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 45.455 billion Sam Houstonians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.5%.

The all-consuming Sam Houstonian economy, worth a remarkable 7,347 trillion Star Monies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 161,640 Star Monies, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 918,362 per year while the poor average 13,872, a ratio of 66.2 to 1.

Eight year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas, private business has started paving paradises and putting up parking lots, citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes, and Sam Houston is notorious for its citizens' infidelity. Crime is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Sam Houston's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Sam Houston is ranked 290,660^th in the world and 91^st in Texas for Lowest Crime Rates, with 25.88 law-abiding acts per hour.