The Empire of Rototornik is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Stanislav Zelko with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, public floggings, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 18.742 billion 'Tornikians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Miscarcand. The average income tax rate is 99.5%.

The frighteningly efficient 'Tornikian economy, worth an astonishing 16,036 trillion Torniks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 855,626 Torniks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, anyone who doesn't attend Official Governmental Religious Services is fined, old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones, and parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Rototornik's national animal is the Nigershrimp, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Rototornik is ranked 218,893^rd in the world and 24^th in Greater Ixnay for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -6.32 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.