The People's Commonwealth of Republic of Ayacucho is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by President Yassine Bounou with an even hand, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, humorless population of 10.987 billion Ayacuchenses are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ayacucho. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Ayacuchense economy, worth a remarkable 1,672 trillion gullivers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Basket Weaving, Trout Farming, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 152,259 gullivers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

You can call your arthritic immigrant neighbour for all your roof-tiling and guttering needs, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars, a passport is literally priceless, and officials pull all-nighters to check immigrants for potential links to terrorists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Republic of Ayacucho's national animal is the cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Secular Country.

Republic of Ayacucho is ranked 4,425^th in the world and 3^rd in Intercontinental for Lowest Crime Rates, with 119.5 law-abiding acts per hour.