The Protectorate of Pumpty Dumpty is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, pith helmet sales, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 4.285 billion Weeping Farmers are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Third Best Capital. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.4%.

The powerhouse Weeping Farmer economy, worth 268 trillion stock crashes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Trout Farming. Average income is 62,693 stock crashes, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 375,250 per year while the poor average 4,758, a ratio of 78.9 to 1.

Scholars are leaving the country at an alarming rate, adulthood begins with the creation of an email account, colonial subjects have Weeping Farmer culture shoved down their throats, and out-of-work soldiers and bureaucrats can often be found camped out in front of manservant academies. Crime is a serious problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Pumpty Dumpty's national animal is the MV hunter, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Pumpty Dumpty is ranked 63,299^th in the world and 2^nd in The Cardtel for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring 3,806.37 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.