The Empire of Pontusia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by God-Emperor Bulluk XIV with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, keen interest in outer space, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.986 billion Pontusians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lambgrad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Pontusian economy, worth a remarkable 3,715 trillion Shekels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 265,642 Shekels, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines, actively encouraging climate change is helping reduce winter fuel costs, life expectancy is way down but posthuman perfectionism is way up, and a small country is wondering where their capitol building's gold dome went. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Pontusia's national animal is the Holy Banana Lord, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Zoroastrianism.

Pontusia is ranked 83,257^th in the world and 6^th in New Western Empire for Lowest Crime Rates, with 68.06 law-abiding acts per hour.