The Unified Provinces of Polyester Football is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Peig Sayers with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, unlimited-speed roads, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 10.154 billion Polyester Footballers hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saoirse na mBan. The average income tax rate is 19.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Polyester Footballish economy, worth a remarkable 2,169 trillion Airgeads a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 213,691 Airgeads, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, monocled merchants with funny accents are applying for Polyester Footballish citizenship in droves, Jennifer Government is a bestseller, and pictures of government employees with expensive Pearbooks 'working' on exotic beaches dominate local tabloids. Crime is totally unknown. Polyester Football's national animal is the Séimhiú, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is An Tuiseal Ginideach.

Polyester Football is ranked 1,610^th in the world and 2^nd in Confederacy of Allied States for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 63 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.