The Spellbinding Tears of Planet Elas is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Dohlman Elaan with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, hatred of cheese, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 4.667 billion Elasians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Council of Nobles. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40.2%.

The strong Elasian economy, worth 237 trillion Daggers a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 50,855 Daggers, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 163,570 per year while the poor average 11,976, a ratio of 13.7 to 1.

Napalm is the tool of choice for disabling eco-unfriendly forestry operations, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, the only record being broken at sporting events is the highest death toll, and wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them. Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Planet Elas's national animal is the Green Pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Planet Elas is ranked 182,617^th in the world and 118^th in United Earth Space Probe Agency for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring -6 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.