The Eternal Misfortune of Pencil Sharpeners is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 18.868 billion Pencil Sharpeners live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals keep a keen eye out for any attempt to organize such a thing, and ruthlessly crush it. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pencilpolis. Income tax is unheard of.

The imploded Pencil Sharpener economy, worth 105 billion Pencil Shavings a year, defies classification, with the entire state effectively one black market. Average income is 5 Pencil Shavings, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 38 per year while the poor average 0.3, a ratio of 129 to 1.

Most people suffer from some form of hearing loss, one of the nation's leading exports is empty platitudes, the smell of tobacco is often smelt around legislative buildings across the nation, and the land is famous throughout the region for its rampant lawlessness. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Pencil Sharpeners's national animal is the Pencil, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Pencil Sharpeners is ranked 23^rd in the world and 1^st in Nudist Dreamland for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 1,432.28 on the Bus Surprisal Index.