The People's Dictatorship of Old Mare is a massive, genial nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 4.773 billion Mari are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cosa. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Maricus economy, worth 657 trillion rems a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 137,747 rems, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Visitors often mistake the toiletplex at music festivals for the main stage, earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss, feeling like a winner comes at a price, and stolen Reuben sandwiches are met with detailed and thorough police investigations. Crime is totally unknown. Old Mare's national animal is the fish, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Old Mare is ranked 5,784^th in the world and 91^st in The Communist Bloc for Smartest Citizens, with 119.61 quips per hour.