The United Socialist States of Northen lands is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Nilats fesohj with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.191 billion vikings are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Tundra. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.0%.

The all-consuming Northen landsian economy, worth 549 trillion Red coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 172,150 Red coins, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas, Nilats fesohj's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site, student exchange programs are in trouble as everyone wants to leave but no-one wants to come, and the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northen lands's national animal is the polar bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Msixram cult.

Northen lands is ranked 155,957^th in the world and 918^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Stationary, with 52.50071639952 days.