The Democratic States of New Xyroxes is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Zylon Kromak with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.303 billion New Xyroxesians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xyloth. The average income tax rate is 73.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Xyroxesian economy, worth 759 trillion Credits a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 143,228 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Senior citizens are often found slaving away in factories, lending money has become a major liability, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, and escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Xyroxes's national animal is the BearSquirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

New Xyroxes is ranked 27,825^th in the world and 998^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 84.07 law-abiding acts per hour.