The Montagnard Republic of Nearly Finland is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Steward Lucie Arouet with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 14.397 billion Noofs have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government is primarily concerned with Education, with Healthcare, Environment, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Oisin. The average income tax rate is 1.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Noofish economy, worth a remarkable 4,557 trillion Scoots a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 316,567 Scoots, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Shivering secretaries type letters under torrential downpours in open-roof offices, the government is seen as openly hostile to all religion, parents are shocked to find out that having kids costs money, and photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in Steward Lucie Arouet's bedroom. Crime is totally unknown. Nearly Finland's national animal is the Swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Oluc.

Nearly Finland is ranked 137,123^rd in the world and 3^rd in American Union for Most Stationary, with 90.35260189652 days.