The Dastardly Driveling Delegate of Minskiev is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ivan Kovalenko with a fair hand, and remarkable for its soft-spoken computers, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 4.742 billion Minskievians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kyiv. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Minskievian economy, worth a remarkable 1,583 trillion rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 333,921 rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside, ghost regiments exist only on paper, a little pushing and pulling is needed for big ships to pass, and clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions. Crime is totally unknown. Minskiev's national animal is the walrus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Zyonnism.

Minskiev is ranked 3,895^th in the world and 115^th in the Rejected Realms for Smartest Citizens, with 141.67 quips per hour.