Most Primitive: 534thMost Devout: 2,155thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,038th
The Who are you of
Psychotic Dictatorship
I am not America, eh!
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Maple Hockey Canadia

Population4.454 billion

CapitalA Cold and Dark Place
LeaderO Great Lord Snowyness
FaithHow Aboot No


The Who are you of Maple Hockey Canadia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by O Great Lord Snowyness with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, parental licensing program, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 4.454 billion Maple Hockeys are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of A Cold and Dark Place. The average income tax rate is 70.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Maple Hockeyish economy, worth 147 trillion Moose a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Basket Weaving, Beef-Based Agriculture, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 33,126 Moose, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Foreigners are treated with great suspicion, astronauts take one small step for Maple Hockey Canadia and one giant step backward from confrontation, the A Cold And Dark Place XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle, and money is being desperately pumped into the ruined economy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Maple Hockey Canadia's national animal is the Kumajiro, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is How Aboot No.

Maple Hockey Canadia is ranked 62,068th in the world and 29th in The Bar on the corner of every region for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 2,722.38 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

Most Primitive: 534thMost Devout: 2,155thTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 3,038thMost Income Equality: 5,887thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6,016thMost Authoritarian: 7,498thMost Pacifist: 10,715thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,227thMost Conservative: 12,350thTop
Best Weather: 17,611thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 19,336thMost Cultured: 20,263rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 20,879thMost Beautiful Environments: 23,498thLowest Crime Rates: 23,575th
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Income Equality: 2nd in the regionMost Primitive: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 3rd in the regionMost Conservative: 4th in the regionTop
Most Pacifist: 5th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 5th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 7th in the regionMost Extreme: 8th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 8th in the region

National Happenings

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