The Kingdom of Malopolanie is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, daily referendums, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 16.915 billion Malopolanieans enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 18.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Malopolaniean economy, worth a remarkable 6,734 trillion Krakuses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 398,164 Krakuses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

It is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, you can bet your bottom dollar that gambling will cost you an arm and a leg, the nation is ravaged by daily union strikes, and obstetricians are not allowed to publish ultrasound pictures of fetuses in medical journals. Crime is totally unknown. Malopolanie's national animal is the dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Malopolanie is ranked 17,716^th in the world and 1,143^rd in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 91.64 law-abiding acts per hour.