The Constitutional Monarchy of Lortastickaland is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Robert Falkenson with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, enslaved workforce, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 2.754 billion Lortastickalandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sindrigor. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Lortastickalandian economy, worth 382 trillion Bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 138,919 Bitcoins, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 618,205 per year while the poor average 19,428, a ratio of 31.8 to 1.

Strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices, guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites, citizens are exhausted from weekly general elections, and thieves find battery shops juicier targets than banks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lortastickaland's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Atheism.

Lortastickaland is ranked 199,890^th in the world and 1^st in Haslett for Largest Retail Industry, scoring -4.84 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.