The Kingdom of Kennicott- is a huge, orderly nation, remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ritual sacrifices, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 655 million Kennicans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Albermania. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Kennican economy, worth 93.7 trillion crowns a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 143,052 crowns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 642,295 per year while the poor average 19,690, a ratio of 32.6 to 1.

Members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, royals are always ready with their diamond-encrusted toilet plungers in case a royal flush doesn't work, the nation refuses to provide international aid, and disposable antiseptic wipes are considered a social necessity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kennicott-'s national animal is the beaver, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Kennicott- is ranked 246,670^th in the world and 213^th in The Western Isles for Smartest Citizens, with 1.47 quips per hour.