The Federated Communes of Kalmykhia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by General Secretary with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 40.735 billion Kalmykhians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kalmykhia City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Kalmykhian economy, worth an astonishing 15,020 trillion kalmykh roubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 368,740 kalmykh roubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military spending is on the increase, there's a bright dawn ahead for Kalmykhia, children need to wear helmets and safety harnesses before mounting a carousel horse, and on-duty Air Kalmykhia flight attendants are usually seen napping in first class. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kalmykhia's national animal is the mink, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kalmykhia is ranked 272,329^th in the world and 201^st in The Internationale for Most Avoided, scoring 0.29 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.