The Royal Couch Surfing Society of Kalmukia is a gargantuan, safe nation, renowned for its complete lack of prisons, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 27.034 billion Kalmukii are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 85.1%.

The Kalmuku economy, worth a remarkable 1,077 trillion Travellers Cheques a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 39,864 Travellers Cheques, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

Intellectual snobbery has the cognoscenti sneering at anyone who doesn't have an opinion on the semiological drift of Umberto Eco's works, sanitary products are sold in brown paper at hairdressers' salons, the nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories', and government ministers claim to ride dragons to work. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kalmukia's national animal is the Travelling Bunny, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Life and Death.

Kalmukia is ranked 261,196^th in the world and 10^th in Meatpackers union for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring -163.14 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.