The Holy Green Hotspots of Kabayong Malibog is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a part-timer with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 40.435 billion Kabayong Malibogians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Law & Order are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seksing Seksi City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Kabayong Malibogian economy, worth an astonishing 18,322 trillion orgasms a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 453,135 orgasms, with the richest citizens earning 7.3 times as much as the poorest.

Government officials frequently cut taxes as a distraction from antics with their secretaries, drill sergeants yell in the ears of bespectacled nerds in cybermilitary "reboot camps", Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity, and the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Kabayong Malibog's national animal is the pornstar, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kabayong Malibog is ranked 294,418^th in the world and 12^th in The ProcrastiNations for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.13 law-abiding acts per hour.