The Long Distance Callers of Honeydewistania is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Prime Minister Marcel Fraser with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 7.157 billion Honeydewistanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the Supermarket. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Honeydewistanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,907 trillion tea coupons a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 266,586 tea coupons, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,999,397 per year while the poor average 10,256, a ratio of 194 to 1.

Possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence, the government helps teach children how to kill a man from six paces, children as young as eight can be found working in factories, and the nation's historic treasures have been sold off to Maxtopia's "Museum of Honeydewistanian Artifacts That They're Too Stupid to Appreciate". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Honeydewistania's national animal is the bottle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is rabid consumerism.

Honeydewistania is ranked 236,907^th in the world and 8,467^th in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 2.68 Cheeks Turned Per Day.