The Great Occupy Mordor Petition

We the signers of this document all agree that "One Ring should not be allowed to rule them all" and that "All Rings are created equal." That is why we are disgusted by Dark Lord Sauron, or the so-called Lord of the Rings, and his policy of favouring the One and the Nine. It is unfair that the Three must hide forever, that the Seven must be separate from their rightful owners, and that the Five Golden Rings get no recognition outside of "The Twelve Days of Christmas." To end these Ringist injustices, we the signers shall set up camp outside of the Black Gate and refuse to move until all Rings are free and given equal rights.

Copies of this document shall be placed at key points in Mordor on Friday the 1st of Summerfilth according to the Shire calendar. Also a copy shall be given to Dark Lord Sauron himself.

Sign Below the Line
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The Lord of the Medals of the Holy Bowling Alley
Sir Loots-A-Lot of The Land Air Water and Space Pirates
Grand Angler Remoraid of the Soviet Democratic Republic Kingdom
Sam the Head Telegraph Manager of Sam the Telegraph Worker
Arch Cardinal Ignacioumay of Sanction
Public Knight Sir Joseph Ross of Domernicus