The Soft Quacking Paradise of Grand Pato is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Commie Scum with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, infamous sell-swords, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.656 billion Patoes love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Booper. The average income tax rate is 70.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Patoan economy, worth 212 trillion quacks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 128,260 quacks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The poor are often seen pale and dizzy after selling their blood to make ends meet, the government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong, enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity, and the Patoan Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. Crime is totally unknown. Grand Pato's national animal is the duckling, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Grand Pato is ranked 222,315^th in the world and 1,036^th in The Communist Bloc for Highest Crime Rates, with 2.26 crimes per hour.