The Disputed Territories of Goldnation is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Bob Loblaw with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, national health service, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cheerful population of 3.408 billion Goldies are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Belleville. The average income tax rate is 93.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Goldnationian economy, worth 437 trillion bullions a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 128,343 bullions, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles, Bob Loblaw's Twitcher account is typically used to share mongoose memes rather than government policy, the new one bullion coin also makes a handy throwing-star, and restaurant owners fear visits from government officials more than the actual food critics. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goldnation's national animal is the mongoose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Goldnation is ranked 5,341^st in the world and 125^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 114.99 law-abiding acts per hour.