Go Canucks Go 2003-04 Regular Season: Part 2

This evening, Missouri insurgents from beyond the region once more renewed hostilities with Go Canucks Go. At 1900hours GCG Time, numerous warships were reported in our waters and our coastal defenses were put on alert. The Missouri insurgents made a landing on our coast of battalion size and sacked a small fishing village, before the Checking Line was dispatched to deal with them. After a firefight, which lasted two and half hours, the invaders were destroyed, along with much of the village. Colonel Drake, the leader of the attackers, was captured and an investigation is being made into the allegations of war crimes against local villagers. The raid has renewed tensions between Go Canucks Go and Missouri, which last flared up last spring. Several small groups of raiders managed to escape the Checking Line and are being hunted down as we speak. The enemy warships have also withdrawn from the coast, after military jets from coastal bases sank a troop ship and two destroyers.

A hard fought physical game for the Canucks, losing to St Louis 4-3

Once more Missouri insurgents from beyond the region have launched an attack against Go Canucks Go. It started with Missouri jets streaking towards our borders and interceptors being launched against them from our own bases. As missile range gaps were closed by the jet fighters of both sides, leaving behind them dozens of crashed planes on either side, the entire battle broke down into a massed confused dogfight in the night sky.

Strike missions carried out by Blues fighters struck at targets along our coastline, but despite early concerns, the damage did little to open up the Hockey Republic to a full-scale invasion. Still, in at least one instance the Missouri based jets managed to create a gap in our air defence long enough for them to make an parachute drop of their elite airborne division.

The Checking Line was quickly mobilized to find and destroy the enemy airborne division, but as the only available troops were returning from an exhausting exercise, they quickly found themselves at a disadvantage. The airborne division, led by General Weight, were able to find themselves some strong defensive ground to fight from before the arrival of lead elements of the Checking Line. After two days of ferocious combat, the Checking Line was forced to withdraw and regroup. Unfortunately, the difficulties of fighting in rough terrain and logistical shortfalls have prevented General Weight from exploiting his initial success or breaking out from his current position. For the moment, Weight has had to suspend all offensive operations for at least the next four days.

The Canucks defeat the St. Louis Blues by a score of 4-2

The Missouri insurgents that landed in our Hockey Republic were crushed today by elements from the Checking Line. After their initial success, the enemy airborne division, led by General Weight, were bogged down by logistics shortages and unable to follow up on their initial victory. Attempts by Missouri jets to bring in much needed air support and supplies have all resulted in disaster.

The Checking Line, led by General Arvedson, regrouped and after receiving reinforcements, they stormed the heights of Savvis Hill. Having gained complete air superiority, Air Command was able to provide close support to advancing troops. Running short of ammo and dealing with overwhelming force, many of the Missouri insurgents surrendered to lead elements of the Checking Line rather than face their wrath.

With the threat of a widening airborne offensive removed, the Hockey Republic is now free to deal with more domestic issues, like those annoying Wild Militia.

Canucks grind down the St Louis Blues, 2-0

After their crushing defeat at the hands of the Checking Line, the last remnants of General Weight’s airborne division have been dealt with. One lone company, formed of Missouri platoons that escaped the carnage of the Battle of Savvis Hill, did their best to make it to the sea. There they planned to link up with an amphibious landing meant to retrieve them, after raiding the coast of the Hockey Republic. Lead members of the Checking Line caught the Missouri insurgents at the beach. The gun battle went on for an hour, in the darkness, before the surviving airborne troops finally surrendered to the victorious soldiers of the Hockey Republic.

The attempt by the Missouri insurgents to raid the coast of our beloved Hockey Republic was equally unsuccessful. Naval and air elements tore into the enemy formation, with only a few enemy vessels managing to return damaged to St. Louis. Intelligent reports have concluded that the Missouri insurgents have been beaten so badly that they are very unlikely to become a threat in the post-season.

Canucks win Season Series with the St Louis Blues 3-1

The Canucks blow an early lead and salvage a 3-3 tie with the Phoenix Coyotes

Startling reports have emerged from the southeast of the Most Serene Republic of Go Canucks Go. It has been confirmed that no less than 12 genetically enhanced Coyotes broke free of a government funded lab and disappeared into the wilderness. They have had their DNA boosted with the more aggressive aspects of hyenas and apparently some DNA from the extinct, but psychotically ferocious Bear-Dog was thoughtfully included into the dynamic package now running amok in the countryside.

In what was tentatively suggested by lab officials as a breach of protocol during transport, the Coyotes broke out of their cages, killed the lab employees on site and disappeared into the wilderness, leaving a trail of slaughter and terror in their wake. A number of citizens walking their dogs lost both their faithful pets and their lives, when the ferocious pack came upon them. Rangers from the Park and Wildlife Department have been dispatched to hunt them down and destroy the feral pack, hoping to keep them from breeding with local Coyotes and spreading their aggressive characteristics throughout the population. Off the record, some of the Rangers have told the Media that some sloppy work by officials from the Park and Wildlife Department have resulted in the Coyotes not being immediately captured. We hope to give you more on this story on Friday.

The Vancouver Canucks dominate the Phoenix Coyotes 4-1

Earlier this week there were reports of 12 genetically enhanced Coyotes escaping from a government funded lab and vanishing into the wilderness. Rangers from the Park and Wildlife Department, together with volunteer hunters, have fanned out into the bush to eliminate the freaks of nature before they begin to take over local Coyote breeds. A representative from the Park and Wildlife Department, addressing the media in their neatly pressed uniform, confirmed that Rangers have succeeded in destroying three of the targeted animals at this time.

Doctor Burke, who headed up the experiment, attempted to flee the country by plane, but was detained by alert customs officials. The nation wide warrant for the good doctor, with his picture plastered all over the media, was perhaps aided by his trying to sneak through customs wearing a baseball cap with the logo “Genetics made me a God!” stitched on it. That and having his name on his luggage was a dead giveaway. The government did not release the intended destination of Doctor Burke, but it is believed to be someone within Wysteria.

After a raid on the home of Doctor Burke, there were unconfirmed reports of a link to the Nasty Nash Security Company, with the possibility of these genetically enhanced Coyotes being intended as guard dogs. The investigation continues.

The Vancouver Canucks defeat the Phoenix Coyotes 4-1

The rangers from the Park and Wildlife Department continue their hunt for the last of the genetically altered Coyotes that escaped into the wilderness from a state funded lab. The Coyotes had their DNA spliced with hyenas and the extinct, ferocious bear dog, in an attempt to create the perfect guard dog for high security installations. Arrests have been made among management of a leading security company in the Hockey Republic, amid allegations that the project leader had a side arrangement with the security company for them to receive the 12 genetically enhanced Coyotes, which broke loose during transport to their kennels. Doctor Burke, the project leader, is currently being held in a correctional institute and was refused bail, after being charged with a long list of offenses.

This week, rangers bagged 6 more of the unpleasant feral monsters, putting the total of destroyed Coyotes up to 9. Fortunately, the surviving three escaped lab animals have not yet reached native Coyote populations. Scientists fear the results if the genetically enhanced Coyotes begin breeding with the native population to alter the species forever. The success was slightly marred by one trigger happy ranger, Officer Salo, mistaking a citizen for Coyote and grazing his skull with a round from a high-powered rifle. The hapless victim, Mr. Nagy, was taken to hospital where he is in stable condition. It seems he was one of the few citizens not to take the “don’t go walking in the woods” warning seriously.

In related news, Doctor Burke’s slippery assistant has finally been caught in the drag net of authority. Doctor Boucher was found hiding in a ski resort and was caught by undercover officers posing as unscrupulous foreign businessmen seeking to buy the secrets of creating these canine monsters in their own labs. With Boucher and the last of the lab secrets now accounted for, the citizens of the Hockey Republic now only await the finding and destruction of the 3 remaining Coyotes.

The Canucks trample the Phoenix Coyotes: 6-1

The government of the Hockey Republic announced on Monday that it was once more safe to go out into the woods. At least in reference to being torn limb from limb by psychotic, genetically enhanced Coyotes, which escaped from a state funded lab. In an attempt to create the perfect guard dog, genetic scientists added DNA from hyenas and extinct, bear-dogs. The project's team leader, Doctor Burke and his assistant Doctor Boucher were arrested earlier this season for the illegal transport with intent to sell 12 of the animals to a security company, which is well known by police. During transit the animals broke loose from their kennels and escaped in the wilderness.

Rangers from the Park and Wildlife Department finally cornered the last 3 genetically enhanced Coyotes in a ravine and wiped them out in a hail of gunfire. Shane Doan, a careless backpacker who had ignored warnings to stay out of the woods, had a bullet graze his cheek but was otherwise unharmed. It was a close thing for the Forest Rangers, who were fearful that the feral monsters would reach the native Coyote populations and breed with them, before they were destroyed.

The Prime Minister issued a statement, following the destruction of the last of the escaped genetically enhanced Coyotes. Marcus Naslund made it clear that there would be a moratorium on future dangerous genetic creations and that a special committee will be set up to oversee all genetic research in the Hockey Republic. Scientists, legal authorities, and politicians will chair this committee, who will present their findings to the Minister of Health and the Cabinet.

Canucks dominate Season Series with the Phoenix Coyotes: 3-0-1

The Canucks blow an early lead but rally to defeat the Columbus Blue Jackets 6-3

The gang war continues in the Most Serene Republic of Go Canucks Go, between the Blue Jackets and the Predators. Last week, the Blue Jackets stunned the citizens of Morrison Banks by detonating a large fragmentation bomb downtown. The Attorney General, the honourable Todd Bertuzzi, previously tied down with the business of the state, has finally gotten enough of a handle on his ministry to focus on the out of control problem with gangs. It had been some time since Go Canucks Go had been at the mercy of motorcycle gangs, who prowled the streets at will, but it seems that they are once again threatening to do just that. Bertuzzi blasted the rival motorcycle gangs and vowed that they would now feel the weight of his special Organized Crime Task Force, to break their power in our fine nation state.

While he was making his carefully timed speech, Police Tactical Teams stormed a concrete gang house of the Blue Jackets and arrested six members of the notorious gang for various weapon offences, smuggling, and prostitution. Word on the street is that this matter is far from over.

Canucks win big in Columbus 4-0

The Ministry of the Attorney General recently unveiled their surprise witness in the high profile trial being held for a number of members of the Blue Jacket’s gang. Testifying against his notorious gang was none of than Geoff Sanderson, who has made a deal with the state to avoid prosecution. The move sent shock waves among the gang members of the Blue Jackets and their followers, who were shocked and outraged over the betrayal.

Canucks lose to the Columbus Blue Jackets 5-4

It’s obvious to anyone with eyes our fine Hockey Republic is missing the impact of our former attorney general, Todd Bertuzzi. Where elite task forces used to storm gang strongholds and break up the activities of organized crime, the new attorney general goes about their work with a bit more finesse, something not well suited to dealing with organized crime. While they have gotten the Blue Jacket’s former leader Geoff Sanderson to testify against his former gang, things are still heating up on the street as the battle to fill recently absent leader positions continues.

In the port city of Morrison Banks, a shoot occurred between rival factions, with police teams quickly moving in to form a third position in the fire fight. Five Officers were slain and four Blue Jackets killed in the incident, which only highlights the out of control crime in the cities of our Hockey Republic.

Canucks Tie Season Series with the Columbus Blue Jackets: 2-2-0

The Canucks win in Los Angeles, defeating the Kings 3-1

Prince Robataille, having returned from his travels of the NationStates World, has announced that he is willing to ascend to the long vacant throne of Go Canucks Go. Having long turned its back on its passed monarchy, Go Canucks Go has instead resolved to make its way as a Most Serene Hockey Republic. Titles and privileges are only recognized at exclusive cocktail parties, not by the state. So far, other than having fun poked at him on some late night talk shows, Prince Robataille has made little impact on the Most Serene Republic.

The Canucks rally at home from a 3 goal deficit, to Tie the Los Angeles Kings 4-4

After his initial failure on the talk show circuit to win the hearts and minds of citizens, Prince Robitaille’s campaign to regain the long vacant throne was turned up a notch. In a well-written fireside speech, Prince Robitaille addressed the nation, making an emotional case for the return of the monarchy, railing against the waste of tax dollars by the civil service and multiple layers of government. Seen on his comfortable chair by the fireplace, with his trusting pedigree pet at his side, the Prince’s words caused many to consider his words and the merits of democracy.

The Royalist Party, long considered a joke party, has rallied to the cause of Prince Robitaille’s cause and enjoyed a dramatic increase in the polls, as well as a slick, new image makeover. The short honeymoon in the media though was recently tempered by allegations that the Prince’s bid to ascend the throne is being bankrolled by flamboyant billionaire Jim Pattersoon. The billionaire has declined comment on funding the recent campaign for the Royalty, but it is widely speculated in the media of the Hockey Republic that this move is part of an overall effort to deregulate the auto industry.

The Canucks dominate the Los Angeles Kings 3-1

Prince Robitaille’s well-oiled campaign to turn the Hockey Republic into a monarchy went off the rails again. After capturing the people’s attention with his slick public address, the man who would be king had his image tarnished, by being revealed as a marionette controlled by billionaire Jim Pattersoon. Documents revealed to the media by a disgruntled employee, revealed a deal between the Prince and the Billionaire, whereby in return for restoring the monarchy, Robitaille would completely deregulate the auto industry, as well as slash their taxes to nothing. Needless to say, things in the monarchy camp are bit subdued. Already the Hockey Republic has arrested Sean Avery for his role in handling the exchange of funding to the monarchy campaign. More charges are expected to follow.

The Canucks defeat the Los Angeles Kings 1-0

Prince Robitaille’s dreams of a new dynasty in the Hockey Republic came crashing down around him on Wednesday like a house of cards. It was long believed by many that the potential Prince was merely a puppet, being used by billionaire Jim Pattersoon to force the deregulation of the automotive industry. The elected government of Go Canucks Go has already had a Royalist whistle blower share a number of damning documents to the media, to discredit their cause. The real nail in the coffin came during the trial of Sean Avery, the CEO of the Hooking and Diving Holding Company. The royalists figured Avery to take his usual dive for the team and he tried so very hard, but a police raid on his holding company secured evidence so damning that not even the supportive Ref Civil Rights Association could pull his bacon out of the fire. The money trail has led to the corporate offices of Jim Pattersoon himself, who at this time is doing everything in his power to distance himself from the Royalists. It truly is a victory for democracy in the Hockey Republic.

Canucks Win the Season Series with the Los Angeles Kings: 3-0-1

The Canucks come to a 1-1 draw in a well-played game with the Colorado Avalanche

With the Avalanche season upon us, danger lurks in the mountains of the Hockey Republic of Go Canucks Go. While skiers and climbers frequent our Hockey Republic to bask in the beauty of glaciers and spectacular views, they are also advised of the dangers that might well claim their lives. Tonight there was a massive avalanche on Mount Aebischer. There were several parties of helicopter skiing tours in the area, but only one person was injured. Skiers interviewed afterwards referred to Aebischer as a force of nature.

The Canucks pull out a 3-2 Win against the Colorado Avalanche

There were a number of dangerous Avalanches in the snowy mountains of the Hockey Republic. Helicopter skiers are being warned to take care in the search for perfect powder conditions, although there seems no end of backwoods enthusiasts in Go Canucks Go. There was a major slide on Mount Konowalchuk, where it is reported that two skiers were lost to the rapid onslaught. There was also a minor slide on Mount Forsberg, tumbling debris onto the Cloutier Highway, used by many backwoods skiers as an access road to the great outdoors. A number of skiers were seen shaking their fists at Mount Forsberg for the late cheap shot, but the debris was quickly cleared away.

The Canucks lose 4-2 to the Colorado Avalanche

Tragedy occurred in the slopes of the Hockey Republic tonight, as 4 skiers lost their lives in an Avalanche on Mount Tanguay. Some are blaming the incident on a questionable Delay (of Game) of the day’s Mountain Avalanche Report to the ski tour, resulting in them going about their business unaware of the peril they faced on the slopes. Cut backs in Avalanche safety and monitoring are being examined and the government has appointed an Inquiry to look into the state of Avalanche awareness.

The Canucks win a 1-0 hard fought defensive battle with the Colorado Avalanche

In the battle against Avalanches in the snowy mountains of the Hockey Republic, the mountain rescue forces unveiled a new weapon: the Todd (Bertuzzi) Gun. Capable of knocking down an Avalanche before it begins the Todd Gun triggers the Avalanche in danger areas (like the boards and corners) saving our citizens from at least one hazard of the great outdoors.

Canucks spoil the party tying the Colorado Avalanche 5-5

Prime Minister Naslund recently returned to active office following a treacherous ski accident on Mount Moore, which has received its share of abuse for the intentionally unsafe conditions of its ski runs. This last week, the Prime Minister made a speech, from his favourite ski resort, promising funds would be put back into the programs that monitored the Avalanches in the Hockey Republic, to make the nation safer for its more outgoing citizens.

While there were an unusually large amount of protests from the Refs Civil Rights Association demanding that the funding be diverted away from dealing with the recent Avalanches in our snowy peaks, the Prime Minister held his ground and condemned them for their callousness. The Refs retorted that this money would be better spent ensuring the rights of people wearing black and white striped clothing to be able to have distinct rights in the Constitution. So far the two groups seemed to have made no move from their stubbornly contested position, but it is rumoured that they will be holding private talks on Monday.

Canucks suffer season’s worse loss against Avalanche 9-2

With the battle between the Refs and the government of the Hockey Republic showing no signs of cooling down, the state’s position was weakened by scandal. The Prime Minister was forced to suspend long time friend and Attorney General Todd Bertuzzi, over his connection with the lax safety and kickbacks at the Moore Mountain ski resort. The ski community is hopeful about the recovery of the Moore Mountain destination and that the incident does not leave a black mark on their sport. In the meantime, the Government announced the appointment of Martin Rucinsky as the new Attorney General.

Canucks Tie Season Series with the Avalanche 2-2-2

The Canucks lose to the San Jose Sharks 2-1

Weather experts have long warned the Hockey Republic about the possible effects of climate change on our nation. Marine biologists have been monitoring the migration of a number of oceanic species that are affected by the warming of northern regional waters. Despite concerns of fisheries officials, who have been forced to go elsewhere to seek their fish stocks, until now there have been few incidents as a result of this.

On Monday, the dreaded Marleau Shark visited the southern waters of Go Canucks Go. While the department of fisheries has posted warnings about certain warm water sharks appearing on our coastline, having not seen any evidence to support such claims, the warnings have gradually been disregarded. That is until the bodies of two divers washed up on shore on Monday. Coroner reports suggest that a Marleau Shark bit them. While the beaches are being enjoyed by a number of citizens and tourists, owing to the unseasonably warm weather this winter, divers and surfers seem to have little regard for the encroachment of ferocious sea predators. A government marine biologist, speaking to the media, said that unlike most sharks the Marleau Shark has a bad track record when it comes to attacking humans. Tiger, Hammerhead, and even Great Whites are considered tame by comparison to this killer.

The Canucks lose to the San Jose Sharks 3-1

On Monday, a Marleau Shark was reported to be responsible for the deaths of two divers, with waves of panic felt on beaches and along coastlines of the Hockey Republic. The warming of the oceans has brought them to our shores, in search of prey. Being one of the more aggressive species of sharks in terms of their attacks on people, the citizens of Go Canucks Go should pay heed if they go into the sea. While a number of public beaches have been closed, surfers have paid little heed to warnings and continue to ride the waves of isolated coves.

On Thursday, there were three separate attacks on the coastline and in each case a Marleau Shark was the culprit. Two surfers were killed in one incident and the other occurred at one of the few public beaches still open. The beach in question had been using shark netting, but it was not rated for Marleau’s and one of them easily got through it and attacked a swimmer. An inquiry has been launched to see how this tragedy happened and angry fishermen are taking to the waves to cull the population, after the government offered a bounty for Marleau Sharks.

The Vancouver Canucks win 3-2 in Overtime versus the San Jose Sharks

After weeks of having the resort beaches of the Hockey Republic terrorized by Marleau Shark attacks, the citizens are fighting back. The Minister of Tourism offered a bounty on Marleau Sharks, a bounty that soon had every available fishing boat out hunting them in the bays and inlets of the Hockey Republic.

While the Shark Kill has resulted in a the thinning out of Marleau Shark numbers in the area, fisheries officials are warning that the destruction of a number of benign shark species could occur, with many hunters not knowing one shark from another. Bounties are only being given on Marleau Sharks, but fisheries officials are recording the numbers of other sharks that have been handed over by over zealous fishermen.

Meanwhile, a number of coastal resort towns have put up new shark netting on their beaches, nets capable of keeping even the savage Marleau Shark from breaching it. While a couple of shark attacks have been reported in the last week (one from a shark fisherman who drank too much and fell overboard after chumming the water), the waters for the moment appear a bit safer.

The Vancouver Canucks win 4-1 against the San Jose Sharks

The madness that has gripped the southern coasts of the Hockey Republic is over. When global warming resulted in a change in the currents around the Stanley Continent, the Marleau Sharks came north and they came hungry. Beaches were closed and even fishermen felt their stocks threatened by these marine predators. Both surfers and swimmers enjoying the surf of the Hockey Republic became casualties to the Marleau Shark, with a public outcry among the citizens to do something about it.

The Ministry of Tourism cracked down on resort owners and the public beaches for their useless shark netting, which could barely keep out even a determined nurse shark. New shark netting was installed, to the relief of swimmers and surfers alike. There were a lot of concerns about the bounty put on Marleau Sharks by the Ministry of Tourism, as part of their public relations campaign to humour an angry society. The resulting shark hunt did do its part in reducing the numbers of Marleau Sharks, but Fisheries official have warned that the local Toskala and Harvey shark breeds have been pushed to the brink of extinction by the cull.

With the season taking the warm currents away from the Hockey Republic, the Marleau Sharks who survived the regular season have gone on to plague the inlets to the People of the Missouri.

Canucks Tie Season Series with the San Jose Sharks: 2-2-0

The Canucks clip the wings of the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim 5-2

This week in the Hockey Republic of Go Canucks Go, hunters clashed with environmentalists, who in turn clashed with developers. The Mighty Ducks Wetland Preservation Society, known by some in the Hockey Republic as the Guns are Us Preservation Society, have to their credit done a lot over the years to preserve the massive wetlands region on the north west coast of Go Canucks Go. But now, environmentalists are getting in on the act and trying to unseat their guardianship of the wilds. Citing a growing irresponsibility of hunters, especially those visiting from other nations, several environmentalist groups have blasted the Mighty Ducks Wetland Preservation Society for turning the great expanse of wetlands into a poorly regulated shooting gallery.

Developers have long sought to reclaim the great expanse of wetlands from the sea, to help house the rapidly growing population of the Hockey Republic (currently well in excess of 2 billion hockey fans). In a shocking move, the Mighty Ducks Wetland Preservation Society recently joined forces with a number of greedy land developers, with both groups claiming that the wetlands are large enough for everyone to share equally.

Environmentalists have banded together against what one spokesperson has called an “unholy alliance created for the wanton destruction of the land”. While the media is lobbying the environmentalists to come up with shorter and catchier descriptions of their opposition, there is no denying that this special interest group has both the ear of the media and the government. Their leaders wear more make-up, nicer clothes, are well educated, and listen to more trendy music than their counterparts in the Mighty Ducks Wetland Preservation Society, who have been labeled by many as a bunch of ‘grumpy old farts’. The government, seeking to look trendy and cool to the voters and to distract them from the many calamities going on in the Hockey Republic these days, have backed the powerful environmentalist’s lobby, much to the chagrin of land developers and the hunters.

The Canucks lose a close 2-1 decision to the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim

JS Giguere, head of the Mighty Ducks Wetland Preservation Society, appeared in a hunting lodge, in a live address to the citizens of the Hockey Republic. The distinguished Giguere made an emotional appeal of why the hunters and not the environmentalists should be entrusted with the protection of the wetlands of Go Canucks Go.

“If not for the hard work of hunters, this natural wonder would even not be here today for the benefit of some whining tree huggers to cry about,” accused Mr. Giguere. “It is us and not they who should continue this sacred trust in the land. The environmentalists are unable to compromise with the needs of society and see any development at the fringes of the marshes to spell impending doom for the entire ecology. This just isn’t so. We need to balance the needs of nature with the needs of man. There is no room for extremists on this issue.”

The Canucks lose a close 2-1 decision to the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim

After a shaky start to his public relations campaign, JS Giguere has seemingly gotten his way with the masses. As the chairman of the Mighty Ducks Wetland Preservation Society, JS Giguere captured the imagination of the citizens of the Hockey Republic with a well-managed production and follow up circuit on sympathetic talk shows.

Greedy land developers are now licking their lips, with all of the pieces falling into place for them to move in on the large expanse of marshland on our Hockey Republic’s western shore. The normally powerful environmentalist lobby seems little more than a squeak in the face of this well-oiled machine of capitalist fervor. The normally excited hordes of environmentalists appear of late to more interested in shopping for the right clothes and attending the right parties, than on the hard work that is to come if they are to save the marshland.

The Canucks defeat the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim 2-1

The war of words and court injunctions, between the environmentalists and developers, came to a head this week in the Hockey Republic. The Mighty Ducks Wetland Preservation Society, once an organization of hunters who lobbied the government to protect the great expanse of marshland to the west of our great nation, were recently doing to the dirty work of some shady land developers. Despite a crash in the census computer today, it has become clear that the overbearing population of the Hockey Republic continues to grow without any signs of abating. The developers need to drain the marshlands to make room for housing developments.

Both sides have exploited their media and legal resources to attempt to bring about victory for their side, but in the end the government of the Hockey Republic did the only thing it could: compromise. The government is making use of extensive environmental studies of the western marshland to determine the areas of least environmental endangerment, and zoned these as areas to be drained and developed for settlement. It was a bold decision; one that angered both sides in the struggle, who then both immediately launched media campaigns and legal challenges against the government. No good deed goes unpunished in government.

Canucks Tie Season Series with the Anaheim Mighty Ducks: 2-2-0