The Empire of Empire Of Cruchan is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Tzar Dmitrius II Soprovich with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, anti-smoking policies, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 14.613 billion Cruchanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karak Norn. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Cruchanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,895 trillion Riddermarks a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 403,431 Riddermarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Motorcycle riders are required to wear so much gear they've been nicknamed "Stay Pufts", a little pushing and pulling is needed for big ships to pass, any girl that shows an interest in Lego is pressured to study engineering, and old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Empire Of Cruchan's national animal is the Cat and Dog, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Empire Of Cruchan is ranked 104,769^th in the world and 2,775^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 1,395.19 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.