The Exalted Supremacy of East Borland is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by His Supreme Eminence with an iron fist, and notable for its pith helmet sales, aversion to nipples, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 39.287 billion East Borlandists are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Lair. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient East Borlandian economy, worth an astonishing 35,738 trillion Slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. Average income is a breathtaking 909,679 Slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,874,281 per year while the poor average 56,722, a ratio of 103 to 1.

Crooks and people with too many kids are being kicked out of the country, gym teachers instruct advanced-level calculus classes, reports of arson have doubled since the introduction of a privatised fire protection service, and a popular East Borlandian saying is 'wishing upon a fallen jet engine'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. East Borland's national animal is the Gila Monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Oppression.

East Borland is ranked 270,205^th in the world and 123^rd in The Alliance of Dictators for Most Beautiful Environments, with 0.26 pounds of wildlife per square mile.