The Exalted Supremacy of East Borland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by His Supreme Eminence with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, complete lack of public education, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 36.676 billion East Borlandists are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Lair. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient East Borlandian economy, worth an astonishing 32,514 trillion Slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is a breathtaking 886,528 Slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,039,588 per year while the poor average 47,340, a ratio of 127 to 1.

The "fire department" is often called to remove offensive religious texts, foreign governments regularly accuse the East Borlandian military of war crimes, the native owl population is in permanent hibernation, and terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. East Borland's national animal is the Gila Monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Oppression.

East Borland is ranked 26^th in the world and 1^st in The Alliance of Dictators for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 79,053.7 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.