Rudest Citizens: 81stMost Efficient Economies: 219thLargest Publishing Industry: 246th
The Mountain Song of
Corporate Bordello
Listen for the Alpenhorn
Influence
Vassal
Noble
Region
Civil Rights
Very Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Map Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Dwarf

Population11.559 billion

CapitalHammerfall
LeaderTorfinn Peatbeard
FaithCult of the Mountain

Currencyore
AnimalMusk Ox

The Mountain Song of Dwarf is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Torfinn Peatbeard with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, pith helmet sales, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 11.559 billion Dwarves are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hammerfall. The average income tax rate is 94.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Dwarfen economy, worth a remarkable 6,284 trillion ores a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 543,697 ores, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,976,813 per year while the poor average 106,395, a ratio of 18.6 to 1.

Visiting the best Dwarfen restaurants requires keeping a visa on file, traumatized ex-ambassadors seek treatment for their "desk dissociation", Dwarfen TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries, and charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses. Crime is totally unknown. Dwarf's national animal is the Musk Ox, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cult of the Mountain.

Dwarf is ranked 17,368th in the world and 24th in Middle Earth for Most Stationary, with 1,715.97395733152 days.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 81stMost Efficient Economies: 219thLargest Publishing Industry: 246thLargest Retail Industry: 249thLargest Agricultural Sector: 251stMost Subsidized Industry: 270thHighest Average Incomes: 306thMost Secular: 560thLargest Mining Sector: 609thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 611thMost Scientifically Advanced: 656thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 712thSmartest Citizens: 833rdMost Cultured: 857thLargest Information Technology Sector: 871stLargest Black Market: 1,057thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,188thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,262ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,264thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,645thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,648thLargest Governments: 1,681stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,869thHighest Food Quality: 2,070thHighest Economic Output: 2,211thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,330thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,351stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,437thMost Advanced Public Education: 2,563rdMost Inclusive: 2,719thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,741stTop
5%
Most Developed: 3,359thFattest Citizens: 3,400thMost Patriotic: 3,530thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,034thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,083rdMost Armed: 4,134thLargest Gambling Industry: 4,907thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,814thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,603rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,841stLargest Insurance Industry: 12,645thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,010thHighest Poor Incomes: 14,278thTop
10%
Most Influential: 14,923rdLongest Average Lifespans: 15,665thMost Stationary: 17,368thMost Pro-Market: 24,503rd
Top
1%
Most Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Developed: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 3rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 4th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Insurance Industry: 7th in the regionMost Politically Free: 7th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 9th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Dwarf altered its national flag.
  • : Dwarf altered its national flag.
  • : Dwarf altered its national flag.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, Dwarfen TV is considered cruel and unusual punishment in other countries.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, traumatized ex-ambassadors seek treatment for their "desk dissociation".
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, visiting the best Dwarfen restaurants requires keeping a visa on file.
  • : Dwarf lodged a message on the Middle Earth Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts.
  • : Following new legislation in Dwarf, the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression.

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