The Benevolent Queendom of
Democratic Socialists

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The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2018 July - August

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2018

July - August

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July 1st, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 2,625th in the world and 98th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 249,006.21 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #0263
    • Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #0164
    • Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #0897
    • UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #0081
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July 2nd, 2018

    • Laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts. #1018 DISMISS lowers Income Equality 99.16 → 98.64 -0.52%

July 3rd, 2018

    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #0023
    • The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #0252
    • The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. #0763
    • Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #0590

July 4th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 177.25 Average Smiles Per Day.
    • Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #0518
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July 5th, 2018

    • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #0501
    • The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #0507
    • The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. #0963
    • All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #0701

July 7th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 10th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 727.21 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
    • Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #0505
    • Economic planning is exalted as a human art form. #0472
    • There are no more heroes any more. #0935
    • Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #0097
    Divine Cervine gained the banner Platform for Expansion by developing a very large industrial base.
    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #0654
    • Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #0800
    • Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten. #1023

July 8th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 333rd in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 273.48 Quips Per Hour.
    • Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #0573
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July 9th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 632nd in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 98.95 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
    • All beauty contests have been banned. #0101
    • Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #0601
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #0557
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July 10th, 2018

    • Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Divine Cervine. #0922
    • The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #0275
    Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.

July 11th, 2018

    • Posters on 'Divine Cervinean Values' advise against being proud of Divine Cervine. #1026
    • The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #0152
    The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.

July 12th, 2018

    • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #0616
    • Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #0630

July 13th, 2018

    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #0440
    • Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly. #0610

July 14th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 6,330th in the world and 302nd in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,715 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
    • People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #0056
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #0551
    • Organ donation is compulsory. #0026
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July 15th, 2018

    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #0018
    • Almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #0264
    • Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #0811
    • The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #0198

July 16th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 844th in the world and 45th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 15,726.02 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
    • There's never enough space in space. #0754
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July 17th, 2018

    • The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #0589
    • Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #0756
    • The nation's war memorials are being torn down and replaced with peace gardens. #0378

July 18th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 122nd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 206.57 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
    • Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #0432
    • Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #0830
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July 19th, 2018

    • Traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers. #1028
    • Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #0062
    • Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #0663

July 20th, 2018

    • Every workday begins with group therapy. #0496
    • Farting etiquette is taught in schools. #0946
    • The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #0776
    • Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #0626

July 21st, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 28th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.43 on the Human Development Index.
    • The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #0135
    • Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. #0689
    • The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells. #0912
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July 23rd, 2018

    • Politicians have seen a significant reduction in followers on their social media accounts. #0992
    • Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #0485
    • Panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet. #1030
    • Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #0293
    • Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #0786
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #0543
    Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.

July 24th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 27th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.44 on the Human Development Index.
    • Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #0205
    • The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #0342
    • The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. #0908
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July 25th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 2,492nd in the world and 97th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 252,733.41 Standard Monetary Units.
    • RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #0624
    • The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines. #1029
    • Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #0522
    • Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life. #0190
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July 26th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 114th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 52.72 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
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July 27th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 59th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 11,136.98 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
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July 28th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 5,117th in the world and 276th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • Queen Arbeaone's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. #0773
    • Anti-government web sites are springing up. #0037 dismiss
    • Newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names. #0798
    • Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint. #1034
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July 29th, 2018



    Divine Cervine is ranked 4,205th in the world and 183rd in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 18,201.74 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
    • Workers have seized control of the economy. #0339 DISMISS increases Economic Freedom -99.33 → -98.22 +1.1%, Wealth Gaps 1.01 → 1.02 +0.99%, decreases Income Equality 99.37 → 98.33 -1.0%
    Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Superb to World Benchmark.
    The national policy for Autocracy has been cancelled. The nation does not hold democratic elections.
    The national policy for Devolution has been installed. Government power is substantially delegated to local authorities.
    The national policy for Public Protest has been reinstalled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
    Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world and of Lazarus for Most Politically Free.
    • Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. #0959
    • National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #0297

July 30th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 73rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 107.22 Effective Tax Rate.
    • Elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment. #0054
    Divine Cervine was reclassified from Liberal Democratic Socialists to Democratic Socialists.
    Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from World Benchmark to Very Good.
    The national policy for Autocracy has been reinstalled. The nation does not hold democratic elections.
    The national policy for Devolution has been cancelled. Government power is substantially delegated to local authorities.
    • The Fashion Channel can only be viewed on widescreen TVs. #0887

July 31st, 2018

    • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #0431
    • The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #0768

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August 3rd, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 179.6 Average Smiles Per Day.
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #0600
    • There is a dearth of space for new houses. #0331
    • Pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security. #0950
    • The banshee wail foretells skies of death. #0974
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August 4th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 212th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 97.12 Workforce Participation Rate.
    • The reams of paperwork accompanying any electronic item are a recognised contributor to national deforestation. #0890
    • There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #0739
    • One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber. #0937
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August 6th, 2018

    • Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. #0834
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #0661
    • The horniness of the great-horned purple fairy deer is considered a national priority. #0986
    • Grumbling early morning commuters bemoan having to travel to work in the dark. #0821
    • Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend. #0765

August 7th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 27th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.45 on the Human Development Index.
    • The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #0633
    • It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #0813
    • Arbitration is mightier than the sword. #0131
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August 9th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 2,470th in the world and 95th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 253,254.25 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #0659
    • Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #0632
    • The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake. #1037
    • Foreign policy is to avoid standing up to bullies. #0981
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August 10th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 52nd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 1,823 Meters Of Sunlight.
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August 11th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 785th in the world and 46th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 16,036.46 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
    • Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #0491
    Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
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August 12th, 2018

    • The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #0036
    • Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field. #0373
    • Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #0683
    • Pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty. #0858
    • Literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts. #1031

August 13th, 2018

    • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #0207
    • Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #0415
    • Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #0122
    • The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #0677

August 15th, 2018

    • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #0353
    Divine Cervine has gained the banner Server Room for developing a strong technology industry.
    • Artists are pillars of society. #0124
    • Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #0239
    • Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #0598

August 16th, 2018

    • All the playground's a stage for Divine Cervinean schoolchildren. #0984
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #0556

August 17th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 6,043rd in the world and 298th in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,793 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
    • Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #0069
    • The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #0222
    • The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. #0963
    • Supervisors in Divine Cervine commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. #0732
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August 18th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 881st in the world and 14th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 98.43 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #0023
    • Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #0490
    • Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #0719
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August 20th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 1,127th in the world and 43rd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,820.41 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #0419
    • The government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. #0262
    • The seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire. #0995
    • A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #0083
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August 21st, 2018

    • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #0667
    • The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Purple Fairy Deer Dung" has been declared a national treasure. #0856
    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #0276
    • The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #0029
    • The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #0064
    • Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #0803

August 22nd, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 351st in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 253,223.85 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #0071
    • Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #0897
    • Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #0410
    Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise.
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August 23rd, 2018

    • The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #0462
    • Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #0525
    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #0149
    Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise to Democratic Socialists.

August 25th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 21st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 262.24 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
    • Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #0685
    • A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #0750
    Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise.
    • Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #0053
    • Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #0675

August 26th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 31st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 182.09 Average Smiles Per Day.
    • Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. #0758
    • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-¤ luminous orb mansions. #0127
    • Therapists can always squeeze in another house-call. #1049
    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #0654
    • Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #0602
    • Psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Queen Arbeaone to meetings with foreign heads of state. #0915

August 27th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 38,856.17 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
    • Tourists outnumber citizens two to one. #0292
    • Scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new. #0999
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August 28th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 5,613th in the world and 235th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 96.81 Atheism Rate.
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #0600
    • The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #0653
    • The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #0636
    Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise to Democratic Socialists.
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August 29th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 9,372nd in the world and 193rd in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 1,197.7075668 Days.
    • The phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. #0628
    • Women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. #0838
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August 30th, 2018


    Divine Cervine is ranked 41st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 98.44 Years.
    • Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #0670
    • Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #0492
    • The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #0637
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August 31st, 2018


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