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The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2018 July - August
2018
July - August
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July 1st, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,625th in the world and 98th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 249,006.21 Standard Monetary Units.
• Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #0263
• Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #0164
• Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #0897
• UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #0081
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July 2nd, 2018
- • Laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts. #1018 DISMISS lowers Income Equality 99.16 → 98.64 -0.52%
July 3rd, 2018
- • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #0023
• The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #0252
• The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. #0763
• Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #0590
July 4th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 177.25 Average Smiles Per Day.
• Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #0518
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July 5th, 2018
- • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #0501
• The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #0507
• The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. #0963
• All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #0701
July 7th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 10th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 727.21 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
• Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #0505
• Economic planning is exalted as a human art form. #0472
• There are no more heroes any more. #0935
• Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #0097
• Divine Cervine gained the banner Platform for Expansion by developing a very large industrial base.
• Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #0654
• Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #0800
• Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten. #1023
July 8th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 333rd in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 273.48 Quips Per Hour.
• Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #0573
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July 9th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 632nd in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 98.95 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
• All beauty contests have been banned. #0101
• Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #0601
• Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #0557
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July 10th, 2018
- • Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Divine Cervine. #0922
• The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #0275
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
July 11th, 2018
- • Posters on 'Divine Cervinean Values' advise against being proud of Divine Cervine. #1026
• The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #0152
• The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
July 12th, 2018
- • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #0616
• Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #0630
July 13th, 2018
- • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #0440
• Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly. #0610
July 14th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 6,330th in the world and 302nd in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,715 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
• People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #0056
• The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #0551
• Organ donation is compulsory. #0026
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July 15th, 2018
- • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #0018
• Almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #0264
• Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #0811
• The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #0198
July 16th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 844th in the world and 45th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 15,726.02 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
• There's never enough space in space. #0754
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July 17th, 2018
- • The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #0589
• Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #0756
• The nation's war memorials are being torn down and replaced with peace gardens. #0378
July 18th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 122nd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 206.57 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
• Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #0432
• Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #0830
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July 19th, 2018
- • Traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers. #1028
• Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #0062
• Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #0663
July 20th, 2018
- • Every workday begins with group therapy. #0496
• Farting etiquette is taught in schools. #0946
• The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #0776
• Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #0626
July 21st, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 28th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.43 on the Human Development Index.
• The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #0135
• Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. #0689
• The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells. #0912
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July 23rd, 2018
- • Politicians have seen a significant reduction in followers on their social media accounts. #0992
• Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #0485
• Panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet. #1030
• Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #0293
• Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #0786
• Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #0543
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
July 24th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 27th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.44 on the Human Development Index.
• Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #0205
• The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #0342
• The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. #0908
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July 25th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,492nd in the world and 97th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 252,733.41 Standard Monetary Units.
• RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #0624
• The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines. #1029
• Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #0522
• Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life. #0190
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July 26th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 114th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 52.72 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
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July 27th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 59th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 11,136.98 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
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July 28th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,117th in the world and 276th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
• Queen Arbeaone's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. #0773
• Anti-government web sites are springing up. #0037 dismiss
• Newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names. #0798
• Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint. #1034
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July 29th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,205th in the world and 183rd in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 18,201.74 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
• Workers have seized control of the economy. #0339 DISMISS increases Economic Freedom -99.33 → -98.22 +1.1%, Wealth Gaps 1.01 → 1.02 +0.99%, decreases Income Equality 99.37 → 98.33 -1.0%
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Superb to World Benchmark.
• The national policy for Autocracy has been cancelled. The nation does not hold democratic elections.
• The national policy for Devolution has been installed. Government power is substantially delegated to local authorities.
• The national policy for Public Protest has been reinstalled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
• Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world and of Lazarus for Most Politically Free.
• Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. #0959
• National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #0297
July 30th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 73rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 107.22 Effective Tax Rate.
• Elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment. #0054
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from Liberal Democratic Socialists to Democratic Socialists.
• Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from World Benchmark to Very Good.
• The national policy for Autocracy has been reinstalled. The nation does not hold democratic elections.
• The national policy for Devolution has been cancelled. Government power is substantially delegated to local authorities.
• The Fashion Channel can only be viewed on widescreen TVs. #0887
July 31st, 2018
- • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #0431
• The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #0768
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August 3rd, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 179.6 Average Smiles Per Day.
• Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #0600
• There is a dearth of space for new houses. #0331
• Pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security. #0950
• The banshee wail foretells skies of death. #0974
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August 4th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 212th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 97.12 Workforce Participation Rate.
• The reams of paperwork accompanying any electronic item are a recognised contributor to national deforestation. #0890
• There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #0739
• One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber. #0937
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August 6th, 2018
- • Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. #0834
• Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #0661
• The horniness of the great-horned purple fairy deer is considered a national priority. #0986
• Grumbling early morning commuters bemoan having to travel to work in the dark. #0821
• Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend. #0765
August 7th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 27th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.45 on the Human Development Index.
• The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #0633
• It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #0813
• Arbitration is mightier than the sword. #0131
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August 9th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,470th in the world and 95th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 253,254.25 Standard Monetary Units.
• Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #0659
• Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #0632
• The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake. #1037
• Foreign policy is to avoid standing up to bullies. #0981
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August 10th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 52nd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 1,823 Meters Of Sunlight.
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August 11th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 785th in the world and 46th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 16,036.46 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
• Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #0491
• Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
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August 12th, 2018
- • The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #0036
• Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field. #0373
• Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #0683
• Pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty. #0858
• Literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts. #1031
August 13th, 2018
- • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #0207
• Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #0415
• Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #0122
• The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #0677
August 15th, 2018
- • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #0353
• Divine Cervine has gained the banner Server Room for developing a strong technology industry.
• Artists are pillars of society. #0124
• Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #0239
• Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #0598
August 16th, 2018
- • All the playground's a stage for Divine Cervinean schoolchildren. #0984
• Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #0556
August 17th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 6,043rd in the world and 298th in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,793 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
• Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #0069
• The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #0222
• The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. #0963
• Supervisors in Divine Cervine commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. #0732
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August 18th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 881st in the world and 14th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 98.43 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
• Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #0023
• Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #0490
• Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #0719
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August 20th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,127th in the world and 43rd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,820.41 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
• The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #0419
• The government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. #0262
• The seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire. #0995
• A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #0083
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August 21st, 2018
- • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #0667
• The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Purple Fairy Deer Dung" has been declared a national treasure. #0856
• Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #0276
• The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #0029
• The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #0064
• Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #0803
August 22nd, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 351st in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 253,223.85 Standard Monetary Units.
• Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #0071
• Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #0897
• Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #0410
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise.
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August 23rd, 2018
- • The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #0462
• Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #0525
• Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #0149
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise to Democratic Socialists.
August 25th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 21st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 262.24 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
• Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #0685
• A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #0750
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise.
• Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #0053
• Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #0675
August 26th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 31st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 182.09 Average Smiles Per Day.
• Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. #0758
• Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-¤ luminous orb mansions. #0127
• Therapists can always squeeze in another house-call. #1049
• Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #0654
• Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #0602
• Psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Queen Arbeaone to meetings with foreign heads of state. #0915
August 27th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 38,856.17 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
• Tourists outnumber citizens two to one. #0292
• Scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new. #0999
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August 28th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,613th in the world and 235th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 96.81 Atheism Rate.
• Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #0600
• The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #0653
• The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #0636
• Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise to Democratic Socialists.
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August 29th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 9,372nd in the world and 193rd in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 1,197.7075668 Days.
• The phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. #0628
• Women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. #0838
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August 30th, 2018
- • Divine Cervine is ranked 41st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 98.44 Years.
• Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #0670
• Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #0492
• The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #0637
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August 31st, 2018
- • Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2018 September - October" (Factbook: History).